Give Me A Bite Of That

Dear Laney,

These days, whenever your dad and I eat in front of you, this is what you do:

We assume this means "I'll have whatever you're having. NOW."

You're supposed to be sticking to a milk and baby food diet, but every once in a while, I give in...because experiments like this are fun:

click here

Love,

Mom

Daddy Day Care

Dear Laney,

I had to get some work done today, so you spent the whole day with Dad. He took you on a long hike to the mailbox, which was good, and he let you suck on a pickle, which was probably bad.

Right now, you're lying on the living room floor watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie with your dad and chewing on one of your socks. Again, probably not the best combination of activities for a baby, but you and dad seem happy - and I'm actually getting a few things done - so I'm not asking any questions.

Love,

Mom

It's Laundry Day!

Dear Laney,

I hope this is not an indication of how you're going to approach housework when you get older.

Love,

Mom

A New Friend!

Dear Laney,

Last week, your mom's best friend Karen had a little girl of her own: Samantha Appleton Crossley. I think we should call her Smapple.

Karen sent us photos of little 7 pound, 15 ounce Samantha, and your dad said "She's beautiful, but where's the rest of her?" I think he forgets that not all babies are 11+ pounds at birth like you were.

I hope you and Sam get to meet each other very soon - she looks like tons of fun.

Love,

Mom

They Must Taste Better Backward

Dear Laney,

Here's something I've noticed about you recently:

You would rather be in charge of your own pacifier and put it in handle-first than have someone else in charge, giving it to you the correct way.

I kind of admire this about you, even though it indicates a heaping helping of hard-headedness.

Love,

Mom

Fun With Reading

Dear Laney,

You seem to really be peeved with Time Magazine's "100 Most Influential People" issue.

click here

See?

Love,

Mom

Life Lessons - #1

Dear Laney,

I thought it would be fun if occasionally I use this blog to share with you a little of the wisdom I've accumulated in my 33 years. (Incredible, I know - I don't look a day over 24.)

If you're anything like your mother, you will ignore all suggestions and advice and immediately go out and do the opposite of what you are told. That's fine. As my good friend Amy often smiles and tells her children, "I deserve you."

That being said, welcome to the first in a series of Life Lessons. When I was a teenager, Philip once told me:

If you get in a fight with your boyfriend,

be careful what you tell your mother.

You may forgive him, but she won't.

At the time, I thought it was a kooky thing to say. But tonight, as I was watching you doze in your swing like a little angel I realized something important: Philip was right. Because the first time some stupid punk boy hurts your feelings, I will march to his house and kick him in the shins.

Love,

Mom

Girls Gone Wild Weekend

Dear Laney,

This weekend, we took your dad to the airport in Spokane so he could go visit his grandpa Ron, and you and I spent the night with Grandma Sue and Erik. We had a great time. You had a nice relaxing bath, which was similar to a spa treatment at the Four Seasons - only in the kitchen sink.

You are rolling over these days like it's your job. No more elevated surfaces for you, young lady.

Love,

Mom

Rollin' rollin' rollin'...

Dear Laney,

Tonight - just one day shy of being 5 months old - you rolled over all by yourself. For a while now, you've been rolling up on your side, but you couldn't be counted on to go all the way over until tonight. And let me just say: this new development does not seem to make you happy.

You get all the way over, and then look around like you're wondering how you got there. That's when you start to cry, as if we've moved you without your permission.

It's the same look on your face as when you fall asleep in your car seat on the way to the store, and then don't wake up until I'm in the check-out line. You look around, bewildered, wondering how the heck you ended up in Target when the last thing you remember was the back seat. You're like an old guy who passes out in a bar and wakes up at a Waffle House. [Admittedly, this is not age-appropriate humor for a baby blog.]

Anyhoo, you're rolling over now and your dad and I are very excited, even if you're not.

Love,

Mom

Two Peas In A Sweaty Pod

Dear Laney,

Today, you went cross-country skiing with your dad. He wore you on his back in a backpack and the dogs pulled you down the road. As you scooted out of the driveway, I heard your dad yell, "We're movin' now, Pumpkin!!"

When the two of you got back, you were both so glowing and excited and giggly...and sweaty.

You had to air out for a minute.

I never imagined there could be someone who'd love snow sports as much as your Dad, until I went and gave birth to one.

Love,

Mom

Keep Calm and Carry On

Dear Laney,

At the start of World War II, the British government had posters made with the slogan "Keep Calm and Carry On." They were meant to be motivational, and to keep the country moving forward during the war. They looked like this:

After the week we've just had, I'm adopting it as our new motto. So this morning, we all got up and went for a hike in the snowy woods, which you thought was great fun. You did an excellent job of both keeping calm AND carrying on.

Love,

Mom

Mom At The Dentist / Super Pumpkin At Home

Dear Laney,

I had an appointment with the dentist today, and the plan was for your dad to entertain you for an hour while I had my teeth checked out. Dad decided to stroll you up and down the street right underneath the dentist's picture window. As the dentist was poking around in my mouth, I saw you stroll to the left...then stroll to the right...then stroll to the left...until even the hygienist started saying "Here comes your baby again." On your fifth trip under the window, Dad had abandoned the stroller and was carrying you in his arms because you were crying. You looked miserable out there together, so the dentist asked "Do you want to get up and go help them?" So I got out of the dentist's chair and ran outside to tell dad where to find the pacifiers and clean diapers while Dr. Noyd waited patiently.

Because the only thing I hate worse than having my teeth scraped is watching you cry.

We came home tonight and you and Dad hung out on the couch playing "Super Pumpkin":

click here

I'll say this about you, Laney, you sure make him work hard for every laugh - when it comes to your dad, you are one tough crowd. Could you throw him a courtesy laugh every now and then? I think it would really boost his self esteem.

Love,

Mom

We Are Having A Day

Dear Laney,

Sometimes in life, all you want to do is put your head down and hope the world leaves you alone for a little while. This is one of those days.

We went into town this morning to pick up a rental car to use while our car is getting fixed. By the way, you seem to think that all of this car drama is AWESOME - everyone got up with you at 6am instead of making you go back to sleep. You got to wear your pink bear pajamas to town, and all of the guys at Enterprise Rent-A-Car thought you were precious. It was probably because of that bear outfit that they decided to upgrade us to a brand new minivan.

Before we could even get the van home, our nutty neighbor drove into the side of it. I was fine, you were fine, and aside from being ancient and ornery, he was fine. But for those of you keeping track that makes two days, two car accidents.

I think our take-away lesson from recent events should be this:

Whenever possible, walk.

Love,

Mom

What Your Dad Did.

Dear Laney,

Yesterday afternoon, your dad took the dogs on a little ski trip. When they got in the car to come home, your dad noticed that the car was drifting sideways on the ice. There was nothing he could do, and the car went over the side of the road with him in it and slid down the hill until it came to a stop at a tree.

Originally, I was going to write a jokey little post about how one day you'll have a Learner's Permit, and statistics say that you'll be involved in a fender bender or two. I titled it "What Your Dad Did" because I was going to tell you that when that happens, and your dad gets mad, you should remind him of this day and tell him everyone makes mistakes.

But that's not the lesson I want you to take from this. As I was lying in bed last night, I was thinking about how much you and your dad mean to me, and how lucky I am to have you both, and how blessed we are that your dad made it home. Because coming home safely to us at the end of the day is What Your Dad Did.

And that's all that matters.

Love,

Mom

Hanging With Mollie

Dear Laney,

Yesterday, we went over to your friend Mollie's house and had your picture taken together. Mollie let you borrow a barrette for the photo shoot, which was very nice...but also unnecessary, since you don't have much hair on your head. Mollie's mom Virginia had to work hard to make that clip stay up there. It was mostly a pity barrette.

Mollie seems to be a little better at holding her head up, but that's to be expected since you're dealing with a heavier load.

You both looked beautiful, and I know you'll have a full head of hair someday.

I promise.

Love,
Mom

Things That Have Made Their Way To Your Mouth:

A bottle. A binky.

A blue teething ring.

Your big right toe.

The straps on your swing.

Your fingers. Your thumbs.

A banana (just half).

A small pink spoon.

A rubber giraffe.

Your jammies. Your hat.

A clump of Mom’s hair.

A Tupperware lid.

A teaspoon of pear.

But we're not concerned -

It's a source of great pride...

That you approach life

With your mouth open wide.

Oh, I Give Up

Dear Laney,

Apparently, you want to skip the part of your development where somebody else feeds you, and skip right to the part where you feed yourself.

Fine.

Gus, you can bat clean up.

Love,

Mom

Good Morning To You. I Live In a Zoo.

Dear Laney,

I am starting to suspect that you are 95% beautiful baby and 5% howler monkey.

click here

But you're my favorite good morning monkey.

Love,

Mom

Hamtastic

Dear Laney,

Every day, you're becoming more of a little grown-up - which is great - but it doesn't mean I'm not going to miss so many things about your little baby body.

In fact, if I had to pick the thing I'll miss the most, it would be your feet. They are pink and perfect and deliciously chubby. I say "delicious," because they look like little hams. I could put them between two slices of bread and eat them up.

But instead, I settle for kissing them 8000 times a day. Hope you don't mind.

Love,

Mom

Cheese Fries, Please

Dear Laney,

Tonight, we had dinner at Outback Steakhouse with your Aunt Brynn and Uncle Nate.

I had the crab cakes. You had four pacifiers, two teething toys, a box of crayons, our undivided attention, three teaspoons of sweet potatoes, a crying jag, and a walk around the parking lot with Nate.

I took you to the bathroom for a diaper change and while you were crying, a 3 year old girl walked in and asked you, "WHAT HAPPENED?!?"

Preach, sister.

Love,

Mom

Laney & Sophie

Dear Laney,

Here is something I shouldn't admit to you...in fact, if you ever ask me about it, I'll deny I ever wrote it, but here goes: When you don't feel good, I'm willing to throw money at the problem.

This is why you're now in possession of an $18 specially-formulated rubber giraffe from a small factory in France. Sophie the Teething Giraffe even has a little squeaker inside her, and she makes Ella NUTS. But you love her, and that's what's important.

In fact, if you could talk, I bet you'd say "Hey, Mom, thanks for going out of your way to find me such an AWESOME teething toy."

And I bet if Sophie could talk, she'd say "Ow! Quit chewing on my leg! That HURTS!"

Just kidding.

Love,

Mom

Your Big Round Head: Full Disclosure

Dear Laney,

When I wrote yesterday that your round head was my fault, you were only getting half the story. I got MY round head from my father, so really you should blame him. Or thank him, because you're awfully cute.

My grandmother (Philip's mother) was called "Mama Lee," and she had this photo of Philip hanging up in her front room for decades. Mama Lee was quite a character, and I hate you won't get to meet her. When we were little and our parents did something we didn't like, my cousin Heidi and I could tattle to Mama Lee, and she would head off to give them a spanking with her little cutting board, even though they were in their forties.

Mama Lee wasn't big on hygiene, but her food was so good no one cared. To this day, when I smell chicken grease, I get nostalgic for Mama Lee's kitchen.

After my parents got married, Mama Lee would ask Peg all the time, "When are you going to have a baby?" And Peg would say "As soon as you take down that picture of Philip with the huge head." Mama Lee never took down the picture, and Peg eventually had me anyway...

So that I could grow up and have you...

and pass on the tradition of the big Lee head.

You're welcome.

Love,

Mom

One Whole Branch Of Your Family Tree

Dear Laney,

Remember a few days ago when Peg Peg wrote a note on here about how there was once a picture taken of the four generations before you? If not, you should be paying better attention to this blog.

Anyhoo, here's the picture she was talking about. You can learn a few things from this image:

1) You come from a long line of amazing women.

2) Your big round head is 100% my fault.

3) Your grandmother used to have TERRIBLE taste in shorts.

Love,

Mom

Not-So-Tough Guy

Dear Laney,

Last night we were watching a not-so-good movie about a man trying to make it to his daughter's wedding. While we were watching it, I said, "You know, Laney will probably get married one day." Your dad responded: "And I will cry."

This is saying a lot because, on average, your dad cries once every three years (and then it's only if we've lost a loved one or had a baby.)

I think it's going to take your dad a long time to get used to the idea that you might grow up one day, so you might want to hold off on getting married until you're at least twenty five.

thirty.

thirty five.

forty.

Love,

Mom

A Birthday Shout Out

...But Sweet Potatoes Are Heaven

Teething is Hell

There once was a baby named Laney
Who wasn't just pretty, but brainy!
She said to her gums
As they gnawed on her thumbs,
"This teething could drive me insaney."

Business in Front, Party In The Back

Dear Laney,

You have been accused by some people - including your Aunt Brynn last night - of sporting the hairstyle known as "The Mullet."

In case you don't know, a "Mullet" is a hairdo preferred by fans of NASCAR, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Alabama Crimson Tide football. And this does NOT describe you.

At least not yet.

Love,

Mom

A New Year, A New Us

Dear Laney,

Happy New Year!

This year, you and I celebrated by going to bed at 6pm. We are PARTY ANIMALS. Your dad at least stayed up until 9 watching football, which makes him slightly cooler than us. About 3 hours cooler.

Your dad and I have decided that we're going to get in shape in 2010, so we busted out the Baby Jogger and took you for a long walk. I'm glad you like it in that thing, because it's going to take a lot of walks to burn off all the deep-fried goodness I've fed your dad over the past few years.

Love,

Mom