Party Trick

Dear Laney,

No matter what your dad says, you are NOT going to earn your way to college through the high-stakes world of card sharking.

Love,

Mom

Crossley Visit, Day #2

Dear Laney,

Today, your dad loaded up the canoe and the dogs and we all caravanned up to Diamond Lake. We rode up up up this rocky mountain road, until we finally came to a stop because the road was buried in snow. IN SNOW. IN JUNE.

Sometimes, Montana makes me sigh.

So, we turned the cars around and headed to a nice little spot by a creek where we had a picnic and went for a little hike and the dads fished a little, and once again, all the fish in Montana lived to fight another day.

Little Sam is new to The Great Outdoors:

So today, you taught her a few valuable lessons, like:

1) It's all about the snacks.

2) Hiking is way more fun if you get someone else to do the heavy lifting and

3) How to tame a wild Gus.

I think we should convince the Crossleys to move to Missoula. What do you think?

Love.

Mom

Oh, Those Crazy Crossleys

Dear Laney,

It is exactly THIS type of behavior...

...that makes the Crossley family such excellent house guests.

Love,

Mom

Gone Fishin'

Dear Laney,

For the first day of the Official Crossley Visit, we went fishing at Fish Creek. Having that spot called "Fish Creek" is a lot like nicknaming a 300-pound man "Tiny." That is to say, there were no fish. But Stephenson and your dad had a good time throwing out their lines and drinking a few beers, which I have been assured is a vital part of the fishing process.

Back at home, we spent some time hanging out in the backyard. You are obsessed with putting your fingers in Sam's mouth to check her teeth, or... well, we're not really sure why you do it. But you two seem to be fast friends, and Sam doesn't even seem to mind when you poke her. Which is roughly every 3.5 minutes.

We wanted a picture of all the "babies," so it was only right that Gus decided to involve himself.

All in all, a great day.

Love,

Mom

The Crossleys Are Here! The Crossleys Are Here!

Dear Laney,

Things are about to get super duper fun at our house, because Karen and Stephenson and - most importantly - Samantha Crossley (a.k.a. "Smapple") have just landed in Missoula for a Memorial Day visit.

Love,

Mom

The Best $18 Ever Spent In The History of Humanity

Dear Laney,

I know I've mentioned Violet on this blog a few times before, but only this week have I come to appreciate her for the entertainer she truly is. My love for Violet knows no bounds, and if she has a fan club I would like my membership mailed to me stat.

We've programmed Violet to say your name. Each of her paws plays a different activity - happy music, games, bedtime music, etc. You have learned to squeeze her paws and fast-forward through her song library, listening to only the first 3 seconds of each tune. Watching you play with Violet is a lot like watching Peg Peg work a TV remote. In both cases, I want to yell, "JUST PICK SOMETHING!!"

This morning, you woke up at 7am, then played with Violet in your crib for an hour. AN HOUR. Which is like a day and a half in Laney time. Your dad and I sat downstairs and listened to:

"Hello, Laney."

"Wanna Play?"

"Twinkle twin-"

"Snuggle up!"

"Twinkle twin-"

"Guess what I am! Quack Qua-"

Hello, Laney"

God bless you, Violet.

Love,

Mom

9 Month Well Child

Dear Laney,

You had your 9-month Well Child visit with Dr Hoover this morning, and she determined that you are - in fact - a well child.

Very well. Super well.

Weighing in at 23 pounds, 6 ounces, you are in the 97th percentile for weight.

At 27.5 inches long, you are in the 47th percentile for height

And (drum roll, please) at 47.5 cm, your head is in the 99th percentile.

Like we always say: go big or go home.

Love,

Mom

You've Got A Friend In Me

Dear Laney,

I've known and loved Ella for a while, but still...every once in a while when you two are in the same room, I'm reminded of that classic "The Far Side" cartoon where Ed's Dingo Farm is next door to Doreen's Nursery.

But somehow, The Dog Who Doesn't Like Anyone...LOVES you. I've spent years feeding and petting her, but you come along and poke her in the eye and she's yours forever.

I let my webcam run while you guys were playing this morning, and this was the result.

Enjoy:

Love,

Mom

P.S. Anyone who knows you should know how amazing the moment at 2:21 is.

Viva Italia

Dear Laney,

Last night at our house, it was Italian night.

Your dad thought it would be a good idea to fix you a plate of spinach and cheese ravioli while we watched a movie in the living room.

Your dad owes me a new pair of pants.

Love,

Mom

2T

Dear Laney,

"2T" is the answer to the question, "What size pants did Laney put on this morning?"

In other news, you have learned to pull yourself up to a standing position. You did it for the first time in the waiting area at the Birmingham airport. Last night, you pulled yourself up in your crib and held on to the rail. The problem seems to be that you haven't learned how to sit down again, so once you're standing up, you're trapped. It's a sad situation. Your dad and I had to keep going upstairs last night to help.

As you can see, you mastered the sippy cup a few weeks ago.

You're growing by leaps and bounds in every way possible.

Love,

Mom

The Trip Home

Dear Laney,

Over the past week, you have taken multiple long road trips, and have flown cross-country with lots of layovers. You've met dozens of new people and tried tons of new (probably completely inappropriate) foods. And through it all, you've been pleasant and cooperative and have kept the tantrums to a minimum. We can't thank you enough.

That being said, if anyone ever asks me what the final leg of our plane trip - from Denver to Spokane - was like, I will describe it as "being trapped in a hot crowded metal tube while trying to wrangle a 30 pound shrieking chimpanzee on my lap."

I considered handing you to your dad and pretending I didn't know either one of you. Then, I would whisper to my fellow passengers, "Can you believe he can't get that baby to be quiet? This is why I hate flying coach."

The funniest thing (in retrospect) was that you were wearing a little pink T-shirt that read SWEET TO THE CORE. In this case, that was a lie. Rest assured, the next time we fly, I am buying you THIS shirt:

Love,

Mom

Fun With Granny Jack

Dear Laney,

It's hard to believe that your great-grandmother is going to celebrate her 80th birthday this year, because all week long she's hauled you around and picked you up and swung you like you're in the 20th percentile for weight, instead of the 99th.

She spun you around in her bedroom chair and you laughed like you were at Six Flags. AND, she let you play on her bed with her expensive pillows. This makes you EXTREMELY special, because some people aren't even allowed to SIT on that bed.

It'll take your great grandmother's house a while to recover from our visit; she'll probably be finding Cheddar Bunnies under the furniture for weeks.

Thanks, Granny Jack, for such a great visit!

Love,

Mom

Splashin' in the Spool

Dear Laney,

Your great-aunt Robyn has a combination spa/mini pool in her backyard that she calls her "Spool." You LOVE the spool. I think we need to get you into swim classes post haste, because you're already splashing and kicking up a storm. And when you dipped your face in the water, we all held our breath because we just KNEW you were going to come up screaming, but instead you shot up wide-eyed like "What just happened?"

You got to meet your (second) cousin Tyler today, and you liked her so much, you let her see your teeth:

Maybe she can tell us how many you have now, because you sure aren't letting anyone else near that mouth of yours. These days, a Laney tooth sighting is as rare as spotting a snow leopard in his natural habitat.

I didn't have one of your swim diapers with me yesterday, so we just put you in there in your normal diaper. Peg Peg says we should send this picture to the people at Pampers to show them what their new Baby Dry diapers are capable of:

I think Robyn might have to refill her pool.

Love,

Mom

Family Reunion

Dear Laney,

Tonight, we went to a cook-out at your great-uncle Randall's house. You got to hang out with the whole family, which was nice, and you fooled your great-grandmother with your ol' "I'm only kissing you so I can get close enough to steal your glasses" trick. I've fallen for it a hundred times.

After dinner, we came back to Granny Jack's house and you and your great-aunt Robyn played with Violet.

It sure looked like you were having a good time. And by "you" I mean "Robyn."

Love,

Mom

Happy Birthday, Grandpops!

Dear Laney,

That's right: 3 out of 5 dentists recommend Crest, and 2 out of 7 of your grandparents celebrate their birthdays on May 20th.

We want to wish your Grandpa Joe in Missouri a very happy birthday today. We hope he's somewhere enjoying a cold beer while wearing one of the Hawaiian shirts you picked out for him.

By the way, I gave your dad the look at the beginning of this video because I could't believe how tone deaf he is. Between the two of us, you don't have a chance of winning the 38th season of "American Idol." So sorry.

Love,

Mom

Bye Bye, Beach

Dear Laney,

We're heading out in the morning, so here are some parting shots before we go:

I hope you had as good a time as we did.

Love,

Mom

Two Teeth On a Mission

Dear Laney,

You still have just your two bottom teeth, but that doesn't slow you down from trying new foods. While on this vacation, you've had hushpuppies and crawfish and chicken fried rice and peking dumplings and fried okra and cheese grits. You now consider baby food to be an appetizer - something to occupy your time while the kitchen prepares your real dinner.

But overall, this is the Vacation of The Sweet Potato Fry.

Yesterday, we had lunch at a lovely Southern cafe, and when the waiter brought a plate for everyone BUT you, you did the Crumple Face and pitched a fit. Trying to get on your good side, a cook from the kitchen came out and brought you a bowl of cheese grits...and then a plate of sweet potato fries. You did finally quit fussing, but I don't think you ever forgave him for being tardy.

You're one tough customer.

Love,

Mom

Why I Love Your Dad, Part #387

Dear Laney,

Your dad decided that he wanted to give skimboarding a try on this vacation. That's what I love about your dad - he always wants to do stuff...try new things and have fun. He fell over and over again (which he described as "throwing yourself down on sandpaper") but he didn't give up.

At least...he didn't give up for several hours, when he finally decided that skimboarding is "a young man's game."

See? He's funny, too. But don't tell him I said that.

Love,

Mom

Happy Birthday, Tex!

Dear Laney,

One of the best things about our vacation is that you've gotten to spend time with Tex. Last night, he was on babysitting duty and after you finally fell asleep, he held you for hours because he was scared to wake you up. Sweet, right?

Today is Tex's birthday and we're going to take him out for breakfast because nothing says love like an omelette.

Love,

Mom

Made It To The Beach!

Dear Laney,

Two days ago, your Grandma Sue dropped us off at the Spokane airport, and we flew to Birmingham. But first we had to stop in Denver. And St Louis. I have to say, you were a perfect baby on all three flights. Your dad says that he was in college before he had been on as many planes as you have, and you have the luggage tags on your stroller to prove it.

Robyn and Scott picked us up in Birmingham and drove us to Granny Jack's house. Yesterday, you, Granny Jack, your dad and I all drove down to the beach and met up with Peg Peg and Tex. As always, you were a fashion plate, but it seems like you don't know what to make of all this attention and humidity.

Last night, we went out to eat at Acme Oyster House, where you tried crawfish and hushpuppies and ate half of Peg Peg's sweet potato fries. Don't tell Dr. Hoover.

This morning, we took you down to the baby pool, which you thought was the WORST THING EVER. THIS STINKS. GET ME OUT OF HERE. You even did your patented Crumple Face...

...until ten minutes later, when you thought the baby pool was the BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU, and you cried when we finally took you out.

This afternoon, we'll conquer the ocean, but first: The outlet mall!

Love,

Mom