Hey, Sweet Cheeks!

Dear Laney,

"Hey, Sweet Cheeks!" is what the Wal Mart greeter yelled at you this afternoon when we walked into the store. You were such a peach all day long, until you single-handedly tried to bring down the flour tortilla display. When I told you "no," you hollered at me, as if you wanted to know who the hell I thought I was taking that pack of 24 tortillas out of your beefy little hand.

After shopping, we picked up Dad and met Uncle Nate for pizza:

Nate can make crazy sounds with his mouth - he promised he would teach them all to you when you get a little older, along with how to make obnoxious sounds with your armpit.

Can't wait.

Love,

Mom

Nap Time

Dear Laney,

Before too long, you're going to be in preschool, where they have an enforced rest period they call "nap time." If you are anything like your mother, you will loathe nap time. You will hate being told what to do in general, but there is something specific about nap time that will feel like The Man is literally keeping you down.

But trust me on this: One day, you will be in your thirties with a husband and child of your own and you will stand in the kitchen thinking to yourself, "Self, I would pay a hundred dollars to be able to take a nap."

There's an important life lesson in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to find it.

Love,

Mom

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things...

Dear Laney,

It seems that you have two great loves in your life. I would like to say that they are 1) me and 2) your dad (or at least bananas), but I would be lying. What you really love are the telephone and the remote control.

I'm all for letting you explore these two items because every time you play with them, we discover new features we didn't know they had. For example, the first time you held the remote on your own, your dad and I learned that our TV has picture-in-picture. What we still haven't learned is how to turn it off.

When I first let you play with the phone, you showed me that it also has an "intercom" mode. I could hear myself saying "Don't put that in your mouth!" in stereo.

This morning, I let you play with the TV remote again while I was on a phone call for work, but I had to interrupt the call I was on to stop you from ordering "Star Trek:The Movie" on pay-per-view. Again, I didn't know we had pay-per-view.

Of course, the real news item here is that you're holding yourself up in a standing position while reaching for your two favorite things. I think it's funny that you seem to hit all your important milestones when you're not wearing any clothes. I'm sure my mother, who buys 98% of your designer wardrobe, thinks this is a conspiracy.

Well, it's almost bedtime, so why don't you set the Tivo to record the Olympics and forward our calls to voicemail?

Love,

Mom

Wow - What a Week!

Dear Laney,

You have developed and matured more in this week than in any week before. You're holding your own bottle, you're sitting up by yourself most of the time and you want to hold/touch/lick everything. Today at the grocery store, you wanted to hold the bag of frozen mangoes. Then you tried to shove the whole bag in your mouth at once. A+ for enthusiasm. C- for logistics.

Your dad and I heard that a little whisky can be soothing to a teether, so we went ahead and poured you a highball tonight. If a Q-Tip's worth is good, half a cup must be better, right?

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Obviously, that's just a joke, but we'll wait a minute for all of the grandmas to pick themselves up off the floor. It's watered-down prune juice, people.

Your dad and I continue to be amazed at all the little skills you've picked up. Nice work, sweet girl.

Love,

Mom

Happy Valentine's Day

Dear Laney,

Happy Valentine's Day!

It was a big weekend:

As you may recall, your dad wrecked our car not long ago, so we went car shopping today to look for a replacement. As I went on test drives with the salesman, your dad walked you around and around the lot in your stroller. By the end of the afternoon, you probably could have explained the difference between the specs on an Outback and an Impreza - if only you could talk.

You didn't fuss once all day - not on any of your trips around the car lot, not in the salesman's office, and not in the finance department. I can't say the same for me. I will say it's difficult to be a tough negotiator while you're also mixing a bottle of formula on the salesman's desk.

We ended up buying a Subaru Forester, which looked shiny and glamorous at the dealership:

...but because we live in Alberton, Montana, it now looks like this:

After we bought the car, we drove over to Grandma Sue and Erik's house where had little pot roast sandwiches and champagne. We watched the Olympics, and decided that you can be a cross country skier or ski the moguls, but I would be a lot more comfortable if you would stay away from anything that requires you to hurtle your body off a tall ramp at 60+ mph...Or any sport that suggests you should strap yourself to a sled and careen down an icy tube.

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By the way, I know I look rough in this clip, but buying a car is a soul-sucking exercise.

We hope you enjoyed your first Valentine's Day as much as we did.

Next year: Candy!

Love,

Mom

The Average Workday

Dear Laney,

Because I enjoy spending time with you (and the idea of day care makes me hyperventilate,) I've been working from home since you were born.

I often wonder if the people that I'm working with in New York or L.A. imagine that my "office" is our dining room table, and I complete most of my projects with a 22-pound young'un in my left hand, typing about 10 words per minute with my right hand.

I spend a lot of time worrying that I'm not doing a good job balancing work and motherhood, but I seem to be doing an excellent job of balancing you on my left knee.

Small victories...

Love,

Mom

Home Sweet Home

Dear Laney,

I got home from my business trip late last night and crept up to your crib to check on you. When you opened your eyes and saw me, you squealed and flapped your arms like a chicken. It made me feel like a million bucks.

It looks like you and Grandma Sue had a good time together while I was gone, because this morning I found this video on my camera:

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Thanks again to Grandma Sue for coming over and watching you.

And thanks to Amy's mom Carol for knitting you such an awesome jacket.

Love,

Mom