Don't Make Me Angry. You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry.

Dear Laney,

It's your dad's birthday this weekend, so we went into town today to pick up some groceries for his special dinner. After hitting Costco and Safeway (where something in the frozen food section sparked your fancy and you started SHRIEKING), we met Dad for lunch at the Cracker Barrel.

Your dad and I had the fried fish, and then tried to feed you pureed apricots. No way around it, this made you MAD. I let you hold a french fry, but that made you EVEN MORE ANGRY. It was like that moment when Bruce Banner decides he can't take it any more and morphs into the Incredible Hulk....because at that exact moment, you finally realized YOU DON'T HAVE TEETH.

AARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG!!

After all the shopping and eating and toothless injustice, you deserved a nap.

Love,

Mom

No Animals or Babies Were Harmed In The Making Of This Movie

Dear Laney,

Apparently, you are not only my daughter, you are also Ella's puppy.

click here

Yesterday, I was looking at you sitting up on your blanket, and I thought "Gosh, Laney is sitting up so straight! That's amazing!" Then, I leaned over and realized that you had grabbed a handful of Ella's hair and were using it to hold yourself up. And she didn't seem to mind.

Boy, she loves you. The rest of us, she just tolerates.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Yes, I washed your face after.

What's Up, Doc?

Dear Laney,

Today, we went into town for your 6 month appointment with Dr. Hoover.

You were 27 inches long (90th percentile) and 21.5 pounds (98th percentile). Dr. Hoover says that when you start walking, you'll be "a string bean." She's met both your father and me, so she should know what a genetic miracle that would be.

When she put her stethoscope on your chest to listen to your heart, you grabbed it and put it in your mouth. I'm sure it's helpful that she knows what your tongue sounds like.

At the end of the appointment, you were declared to be 100% healthy and advanced on all your motor skills. Bravo.

Love,

Mom

Happy Half Birthday

Dear Laney,

Today, you turn 6 months old.

In just half a year, you've expanded my heart, made my left arm freakishly strong, and made it necessary for me to wash sweet potatoes out of my hair.

Someone once said that the life of a parent is made up of the longest days and the shortest years. So true. The past 6 months have flown by in a haze of love and diapers, squeals and pouts, stories and naps... Using a little basic math, we can estimate that you have been fed 1,080 times. I will mention this the next time someone asks me why I haven't written the Great American Novel.

I can't remember what life was like before you came...I'm just awfully glad you showed up.

Love,

Mom

Photography 101

Dear Laney,

Today, you got your hands on the camera and managed to take this picture all by yourself...right before you put the camera in your mouth and I had to take it away from you.

Overall, I think the photograph shows excellent composition, and very advanced technique; I'm sure Annie Leibovitz licks all of her lenses, too.

Love,

Mom

A Weekly Round-Up

Dear Laney,

Here are some misc. highlights from the past few days:

Today, we read PAJAMA TIME, which is your favorite book, about five times. I know it's your favorite book, because every time I start to read it, you start to squeal. I have now memorized the book and can simply recite it while you gum the pages. Everybody wins. I tried to transition over to BARNYARD DANCE today, but you're just not that excited about square-dancing pigs.

Your dad and I have noticed - thanks to the Olympics - that when I start to sing "The Star Spangled Banner," you start to moan. I don't know if you're singing along, or just trying to communicate "Moooommmm, pleeease stooooooooppp." I can't wait 'til you can add eye-rolling to your repertoire.

For lunch today, you had pureed pumpkin, which almost made your dad's head explode with the creative potential for "Pumpkin eating pumpkin" jokes/songs/comments.

This weekend, Gus tried to lick you and you grabbed his tongue. And held on. He just sighed and sat there, like "You got me." Gus is not very bright, so try not to take advantage of him. Also: It is moves like this that are the reason I have to wash your hands 20 times a day.

You had a weird angry rash this week. I researched it, diagnosed it, and whipped up a remedy. Today, the rash is almost gone. I feel like I cured polio.

Love,

Mom

Here Comes The Sun (Da da da da...)

Dear Laney,

After a 3 month absence, the sun has made its way up over the mountain and is once again shining on our house.

Glory hallelujah.

Love,

Mom