This is probably what I will remember most about our Disney trip:
According to their movies, Disney Princesses have all been swept off their feet by princes who were professionally charming. But that doesn't mean they were ready for you.
Upon meeting Sleeping Beauty, you asked her, "Can we just snuggle for a minute?"
You shook Alice's hand and formally introduced yourself. "Are you a rabbit?" she asked. "No, I'm just a Hagen."
You chatted up Mary Poppins in England at Epcot.
You saved your best work for Rapunzel. You started out by kissing her hand and stroking it. She looked at her photographer and asked something along the lines of "Is this kid for real?"
While she was signing your autograph book, you pulled out the big guns: "Would you like to see my belly button?"
"It's a very handsome belly button," she agreed. Posting this photo on facebook brought out the best in some of our relatives:
When he met Tiana from "Princess And The Frog," she acted like she was wise to his game, but snuggled him anyway:
By the time we met Snow White on our last day, I warned her there was probably a photo of Hagen circling around the Princess Union.
I have no idea where you got your way with the ladies, but you've definitely got it, kid.
So...we had your Christmas concerts, then Christmas, then Amy's visit, then Hagen's birthday party, and two days after that, we got on a plane and flew to Orlando. Your grandparents Peg Peg and Tex moved to Florida earlier this year because they're over 60 and that's the law.
I wasn't opposed to the Florida trip, because at the time, Montana looked like this:
Peg Peg had planned a week-long Disney vacation for us, even though I told her you two are completely overjoyed when we stay in a hotel with a pool, so we could have just booked a Holiday Inn Express room in Cleveland and saved ourselves the trouble, but she wouldn't hear of it. Sure enough, Laney immediately fell in love with their neighborhood pool.
For New Year's Eve, I'd bought your dad tickets to see the new Star Wars movie in IMAX, because for a few hours each week, I'm the best wife there ever was. They have bars in the movie theatres in Orlando, which is probably what led me to whisper-ask your dad questions throughout the movie, like "Why does the Empire keep building huge floating structures with bridges with no handrails and walkways where you can plummet to your death just by taking a step to the left? Hasn't anybody taken Space Architecture 101?" For a few hours a week, I'm the worst wife there ever was.
On New Year's Day, we drove over to Cocoa Beach. Hagen managed to avoid getting wet all day, and Laney brushed up on her snorkeling skills by... well, I'm not really sure why she kept smooshing her face in the sand.
We learned some key things on this trip:
1) Peg Peg and Tex are such fans of Hagen's "Cheese" face that they've decided to take all of their pictures like that from now on. Well played.
2. The Tooth Fairy does go to Florida, but sometimes has to borrow a couple of ones from her parents.
3) Your dad is an incredible parent. Before when we've travelled, you guys have been so young that a lot of the parenting responsibility fell to me by default. Years and years of "Mom do it!" But somehow when we hit the tarmac in Orlando, you guys hit this sweet spot where you fell in love with your dad and wanted to do things with him. Your dad probably did 80% of the heavy lifting and 70% of the potty breaks on this trip, so I got to feel like I was on an actual vacation. Wonderful, wonderful.
Your dad's little brother Joey came and stayed with us all last week; he's the Head Electrician with a touring production of Flashdance, The Musical and the show had a down week after a run in Montana, so he got to spend some time with us. I know: His job sounds like one of those bogus stories a character in a sitcom would make up, like, "You can't meet my new boyfriend, because...uhh...he's on tour!...yea, that's it...with who?...um...Flashdance!...I know, right?...why?...uh....'cause he's a maniac on the floor, and he's dancing like he's never danced before?"
Anyway, it's all true.
He got along great with you guys, because in a house with small children, the guy who can operate all the video games is king.
And, having toured around the country with a bus full of musical theatre types, he's able to tune out some things that other people can't:
For the Presidents' Day weekend, we took the family - including Joey - up to Seeley Lake for a stay at the Double Arrow Lodge, which was even more fun than we thought it would be. Your dad thought it would be zero fun, so he definitely came out ahead. We met my friend Julie and her family up there, and we all cross-country skied on the frozen lake and around the resort, went swimming in their indoor pool, and ate pizza and played board games.
Your dad took his huge kite and practiced letting it pull him around on his skis. Every time he got it up and running, Laney was very excited.
Hagen maintained his usual antipathy for the great outdoors, so I raided the back of our Subaru for materials and found two umbrellas, a blanket and a bathroom rug to make him a "so cozy" fort, which he shared with Ms. Julie's daughter, Calia.
And now, the video...
On our last cross-country ski outing, Laney said she didn't want to ski. Instead, she said "I want to GoPro this thing." So enjoy the footage from our budding filmmaker (you'll know it when you see it).
Thanks for an awesome weekend, everyone, and best of luck to Joey on the final leg of his tour.
My friend Amy brought her kids for a visit over the holidays, and we got to spend a day playing in the snow together.
I can't say enough nice things about Amy and her family.
Readers might remember Amy's son Christian as the boy Laney smooched on the trampoline last summer.
We're keeping an eye on that; in the meantime, Peg Peg suggests a winter wedding, and further suggests that we should use this photo for a future Save The Date card:
Hagen participated for a while...
...until his thumb didn't go in his glove the way he wanted it to...
We had a really cute idea for your 4th birthday party back in December. You love building, so we turned our new deck into a "build site" for you and your friends. For two months, I collected cardboard boxes that could be used as building blocks for you to turn into a fort or a life-sized playhouse. Your dad wrapped the whole deck in canvas tarps and set up heaters.
I put out a hard hat and a Home Depot apron for each kid who was invited.
You picked the menu, so we had corn dogs and baked beans and cheeseburgers sliders with LOTS of ketchup. It had everything you look for in a meal: brown, beige and tan.
But here's what really happened:
Thirty minutes before the party, I made the mistake of letting you open an awesome build-your-own-car toy that Aunt Nancy had sent for you. It was so cool that you retired to the corner of the living room and the party was primarily a distraction from your project.
All the girls went upstairs to Laney's room to dress up like princesses and watch a movie and steal corn dogs through the stairway railing.
Your dad entertained the little boys by showing them how they could use a PVC pipe as a runway for a Hot Wheels car, and they spent most of the party shooting toy cars across the living room through the pipe. This was such a hit, in fact, that we sent most kids home with a length of pipe so they could recreate the effect in the comfort of their own living rooms. Most moms give out goody bags at parties; Burbachs give out plumbing materials. Thanks for coming - here's your pipe.
Everyone had fun. No one went out on the deck. Ever. I repeat: No one entered the party area at any time. Your dad spent the whole next day breaking down boxes, and I spent several hours wondering why I threw a party for a little dude who (God bless him) doesn't care about parties.
Keep making your own rules, kid. We'll catch on eventually.
We decided to spend the day yesterday at the Blue Mountain Recreation Area, sledding with friends. I have some girlfriends who have never tried cross-country skiing or snowshoeing or snow tubing, so your dad and I loaded up all of our gear and invited everyone to meet us up there to try it all out. We even took a tub of firewood, because we knew we'd find a great spot with a fire pit.
Hagen, you fell asleep on the way there, but Laney was raring to go. As she went tubing by herself, we let you continue sleeping in the backseat of the car, parked next to the fire. After an hour of solid fun, I leaned into the backseat and gently shook you awake. "We're having great fun out here," I said, "Do you want to come out and play with us?" "No!" you said, "I just wanna stay here in the car." So I left you there.
Every few minutes, I'd wave to you through the windshield, and you'd shake your head "Nopenopenope." You did not want to participate. This came as no shock to me, because your teacher Miss Julie - who was there sledding with us - has sent me a whole photo portfolio of "Hagen Does Not Wish To Participate" moments, including "Hagen Konks Out During Storytime" and "Hagen Relaxes His Way Through Recess."
(you're the little cozy brown blob, on your teacher's right).
I went back to the car and tried again, "Don't you want to sled? Or see the fire? Or eat a toasted marshmallow?" "No. No. No." "Okay, what if you get out and Miss Julie snuggles you while you sleep?" "Okay." So...you WILL participate if there's a pretty blonde lady who will snuggle you.
Then, of course, your best friend Finley showed up and you were ready to party. Or at least stand by the fire, talking like old men and eating half a bag of marshmallows.
_______
The snow had melted and frozen over so many times on the hill that the conditions were super-slick and there were a few times I thought we'd have to chase you both down to I-90. Your dad did so many great runs with all the kids, and a fantastic afternoon was had by all. See:
December 2015 was a whirlwind of holiday activities. Seemed like every day one of you had a themed event at your school that required an outfit or a prop or the attendance of one or more parents. You both had Holiday Concerts at your school on the same day, two hours apart.
First, Laney:
That's you in the second row, with your hands up in the air, under the "Be Responsible" bulletin board. Last year, you surprised us by having a solo. This year, you told us you weren't going to be singing by yourself. Instead, you shocked us by having an xylophone solo to an uptempo number about Hanukkah. Did not know you could play the xylophone. I don't have a picture of it, because you were on the ground in front of that guy with the long braid and I couldn't see you, but you sounded great (or as great as a 6 yr old xylophone player accompanying a bleacher full of elementary schoolers shouting about spinning dreidels should sound).
...And here's your class singing "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" -
Then, we went back to your classroom to ooh and aah over your Christmas crafts, including this Christmas tree made out of an inverted ice cream cone coated in green frosting.
I also got to see you with your best friend (as of 12/21, 1:32pm - subject to change without notice). Please note that I married your dad because I knew I would be getting a lifetime of love and support, and NOT because I thought I'd be getting tall children.
Then, it was on to your school, Hagen:
Pains me to admit it, but I told your dad to skip this one. Last year, you sat in a circle with the rest of the kids in your class, but looked around like you had NO IDEA why everyone was singing or why you were there. In 2014, you greeted your Holiday Concert with a 1000-yard stare, like you were trapped in a bad flash mob, and we counted the minutes 'til we could grab your stuff and go. I figured this year would be a repeat performance, and it was safe for your dad to go back to work.
NOPE!
This year, you hollered out the words to every song, and did all the choreography, plus some.
After every song, you ran to me in the front row and yelled in my face, "CAN YOU HEAR ME SINGING UP THERE?!?" "Yes, baby, now go sing some more!" "I'M ON IT!"
And then you'd run back into position and belt out another Christmas standard.
I love love love in that last photo how that boy behind you is stuck in his shirt.
____________________
You two spent most nights in December sharing a bed. We put Hagen's old crib mattress under the bed in Laney's room and used it like a fake trundle bed. But many nights, you just climbed in bed together.
Two Burbachs, dressed in fleece, wrapped in a blanket and snuggled together can top out a thermometer. Your dad pulled back the blanket one night and said, "It's so hot and sweaty in there, it's like they're trying to make kimchee." It was an absolutely disgusting thing to say, but I laughed for half an hour.
_________________________
I wanted a family photo for our Christmas card this year, so one day in late November, I loaded up the family and the tripod and made your dad go to the park for a DIY photo session.
I had to shoot my own Christmas photo with a remote control (as seen below). The cobbler's children have no shoes blah blah blah.
___________________________
Christmas morning was a great, low-key affair.
For the first time since Laney was born, we didn't have company on Christmas (Grandma Sue doesn't count, since she lives 198 steps away).
Once again, Laney set a speed record for opening presents, while Hagen opened four or five and said he was done. He left the rest unopened under the tree for most of the day - I would almost suspect he was doing it to make his sister bonkers.
Laney got the panda sleeping bag she wanted and Hagen got an assortment of Transformers and everyone was happy. I got your dad a Fitbit, so I've pulled him into my walking competitions, and he got me a Kindle, which I'm LOVING.
Peg Peg got you each some Santa pajamas, and asked me to take your picture, so here goes:
