Laney's Rules

Dear Laney,

It's your world, we're just living in it.

So far, you have taught us the following rules and preferences:

1. Always the green pacifier. Sometimes the clear pacifiers. NEVER the purple pacifier.

2. When you're stressed, you prefer to nap on your side.

3. You do NOT like to be held facing in to the person who's holding you, UNLESS that person produces a boob.

4. Being two minutes late to feed you is okay. Being three minutes late IS NOT.

5. You like your bottles really warm. No, warmer than that. A little warmer. NO! THAT'S TOO WARM.

6. You cover your eyes when the light is too bright. Your pediatrician actually lowers the light when she checks on you, because you let her know what you thought about her bright office.

7. Cutting your toenails? Fine. Cutting your fingernails? THE END OF THE WORLD.

8. Blankets covering your legs are unacceptable. As God is your witness, you refuse to keep a blanket over your legs. If we drape one over you, you become a mini Rockette until that thing is gone.

9. Gus can lick your feet, but NO ONE can touch the back of your neck.

10. When you're unhappy, we can make it better by singing "I Will Survive" or "King of the Road," but bouncing you on our knee makes a bad situation worse. Much worse.

I'm sure that over the years, you will teach us eight million more of these. Be patient with us - sometimes it takes us a while to catch on. We're trying to keep up, but we're old.

Be gentle.

Love,

Mom