I had an appointment earlier this week to get my hair cut, and as long as we were there, I asked the stylist if she would mind trimming your bangs. Since you were born, your dad and I have been taking turns cutting your hair - that way, we could take turns blaming each other for the erratic outcomes; this is the kind of logic that keeps our marriage running like a well-oiled machine. Trying to cut a two year-old's hair is like trying to shear a dingo. That is to say, it's difficult and you're likely to get mauled.
Morgan the stylist has a two year-old of her own, so she knew what she was getting herself into. As she started, she pointed to her nose and asked you to "look here" so she could be sure she was getting everything straight. You seemed to think that she was instructing you to put YOUR finger on YOUR nose and keep it there throughout the procedure.
I have visions of you in your thirties, getting your hair cut and still thinking that holding your finger to your nose should be part of the process.
This hair cut was just the latest example of your willingness to do ANYTHING for candy. Morgan keeps a stash of suckers. Like I said, she's a pro.
I could have a perfectly-behaved child at all times, if only I wasn't concerned about your teeth rotting out of your head.
Love,
Mom
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