Barnstormers

Hey y'all -

I've done some crazy, low-down, ill-advised things in my time, but deciding to go to Walmart on Thanksgiving night for their doorbusters might take the cake. Y'all, it was unlike anything I have ever seen. It was a seething mob of humanity grabbing at $1.47 bath towels. It was exhilarating, like an entertainment the ancient Romans would have cooked up if they'd they'd run out of lions.

Sue and Ron stayed home with you guys and your dad and Nate and I went into town, lured by bargain-basement prices on iPads and children's toys. I figured there wouldn't be many people there - I assumed most Missoulians would be tucked away in their houses, making homemade granola. But NO! The store was packed with people in a retail frenzy.

For those who've never done it, here's how it works: they schedule items to go on sale at specific times. There are 8pm doorbusters, 10pm doorbusters, etc. They put the items in big shrink-wrapped piles around the store, so you have to stake out your desired item, then join the throng surrounding it, and wait for the Walmart employee to remove the plastic. That's when you pounce. Your dad at one point yelled, "It's like hungry lionesses at the watering hole!" Your dad also kept forgetting the word "Doorbuster," and insisted on calling them, "Barnstormers."

Nate was instrumental in my success. He walked ahead of my cart, elbows up, making a hole for me to pass through. I picked up speed going down a particular aisle, and I heard a voice behind me yelling, "I don't know who you are, but KEEP GOING - YOU'RE DOING GREAT!"

We finally figured out that there were huge mylar balloons placed randomly around the store advertising one of the big ticket items, and that's where the line started for - say - the iPad or the Wii. We got in line over in the condiment section at 8:30p for the iPads that they wouldn't start giving away until 10pm. We spent an hour and a half parked by the ketchup and mustard, making friends with the people in line around us. And seriously, it was fun.

As the line finally started moving, we snaked by the coffee and tea section, and your dad reached out and grabbed a box of Sleepytime Tea. The guy behind us in line said, "Son, you know this wasn't the line for tea, right?

I don't know that I would attempt this in any other town - even in a frenzy, the people of Missoula are a well-behaved mass of humanity. We ran into the woman who runs our food co-op, and she said that she was out with a group of five girlfriends, and they had an all-night plan: Walmart, then Target opens at 9, then Old Navy opens at midnight, then Sears is open all night and serving breakfast...  I think all the blood drained from your dad's face when I told him that. But if you think I'm not going to become friends with that woman just to join her shopping coven, you are wrong. 

In the end, we saved $100 on our iPad and bought all of Laney's presents for 60% off retail. I can't wait to do it again next year.

Love,

Mom