Gina, The Talking Giraffe

Dear Laney,

We've only had the iPad for a week or so, and already you love it like a packrat loves a Subaru. 

It's been amazing to watch how intuitively you've taken to it. You've helped Elmo find hidden letters. You've helped Team Umizoomi do basic addition and subtraction. Frankly, you've done a lot of things your dad and I didn't even know you could do. I would credit your preschool, but you came home last week singing the theme song from Ghostbusters, so I have no idea what-all those people are teaching you. 

Laney at dinner table: Who you gonna call?

Mom and Dad: Ghostbusters?

Laney: (eyes wide) How did you know?

Mom and Dad: Because that song was written 25 years before you were born, and was not created this morning by Mr. Matthew for your music class. 

Laney: Gasp. 

Speaking of - and get ready for another tangent - "Before you were born," has been a difficult concept to explain to a three year-old. You can't seem to wrap your head around the idea that there was once a time when you didn't yet exist. We have lots of conversations like this:

Laney: Grandma Sue built this house with Uncle Nate.

Mom: That's right.

Laney: And where was I?

Mom: You weren't born yet, so you weren't around. 

Laney: Grandma Sue must have been so sad. 

So, anyway, The iPad. 

I downloaded this app called "Gina The Talking Giraffe." You can feed Gina or give her a bucket of water, but her big claim to fame is that she repeats everything you say to her in a cartoon/sing-song voice. I figured it would entertain you long enough for me to go downstairs and put the clothes in the dryer; instead, the day I first showed you Gina, you talked to her for hours. 

Laney: Hi, I'm Laney

Gina: Hi, I'm Laney.

Laney: And this is my brother, Hagen.

Gina: Brother Hagen

You talked to her at such length and covered such a wide variety of subjects that it became worrisome to me. I had to sit down with you and remind you that Gina wasn't real. She was just like a cartoon character on the TV. And while she's fun to play with, she's just a pretend giraffe, and not like a real friend. You assured me that you knew Gina was just a game. I was momentarily relieved, until you said, "Hang on a minute Gina, I want to show you some things!"

...and then you went and got your basket of stuffed animals, and introduced them to Gina, one by one. 

I don't know what it says about my parenting that you're so excited to talk to a fake giraffe. And I don't know what it says about you that you think she's a brilliant conversationalist. 

Best to not probe this too deeply. 

Love,

Mom