Everybody Was Kung Fu Drifting

Dear Hagen,

A month or so ago, I attended your parent/teacher conference at preschool. Your teacher expressed some concern that you never (ever, ever) seem to want to do what the rest of the class is doing. You have no interest in sitting in a circle with 30 other kids. You don't want to chase a ball with a shrieking group of students outside. You mostly want to be left alone to do your own thing. It seems that while everyone else is playing a big, group game, you'd much prefer to be by yourself in the corner, pretending to be a pterodactyl.*

I suggested that the teachers shouldn't let you get away with so much - you pull that "I just want to snuggle" routine on these women, and they eat it up. She explained that it wasn't so much "letting him get away with it," because you're never "naughty," you're just not participating. And in the meantime, there's always some other kid biting somebody or peeing in the potted plant, and that tends to take priority. I imagine teaching preschool is one long triage situation. 

I assured your teacher that I didn't have any concerns about your overall development, and was reasonably confident that you are just the product of your two parents: the drama major who likes to put on a show, and the semi-reclusive scientist who doesn't like to play with others. Hence: Pterodactyl In A Corner, The One Man Show. 

That conversation was rattling around in my head when I read the announcement that Missoula was once again having Unplug and Play Week. This is an annual week-long event when businesses all over town host free activities for kids to get them up and moving. We did the scavenger hunt at Fort Missoula, taste-tested vegetable dishes at a local restaurant, and on a whim, decided to do the drop-in class at the Taekwondo studio. 

The teacher was GREAT. He was stern but compassionate. When you wandered off your spot, he made you come back and start over. When you flopped down on the ground instead of following instructions, he gave you a time out, but explained why (It's not safe to be on the ground when everyone else is running around; you're a tripping hazard.) I knew this was a man who wouldn't fall for the old "Snuggle me" routine. YES!

I decided to take you back the next week. I called your dad and suggested he leave work early and come watch your class, just to confirm it was as good for you as I was feeling it was. Your dad came and watched with a great goofy grin on his face, and when class was over, he scooped you up in a hug and said, "FINALLY! Somebody doesn't think you're CUTE!"

So we signed you up, wrote a check, got you the outfit (the dobok) and now you're officially a student of taekwondo...by far the smallest student, but still. 

If there is anything cuter than a 4 yr old martial artist, I swear I don't know what it is. 

In your last class, your teacher suited you up in pads for some kicking, and you told him, "Well, this is just way too big for me." "Maybe," your teacher said, "but it's the smallest one we've got so you're just going to have to deal." I shot a minute of footage with my phone before I had to give up and start laughing. But here's how it looks when preschoolers spar:

You have ninja mission drift.

You forget what or who you're supposed to be kicking. You catch sight of yourself in the wall mirror and get lost in your own reflection. But for the most part, you are following directions, participating, and having a good time doing it. We're calling this a big win. 

Love,

Mom

* She actually suggested that your behavior might be the result of an undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder, and urged me to have you tested. I was shocked, but I did it. The psychologist determined you were "Quirky, but also average or above average in all areas of development." You don't go to school there anymore.