With Love From The Second Grade

Dear Laney,

Your teacher - because she is a saint - decided it would be a fun project to have your class write letters to your dad.  You brought them all home in a folder earlier this week and they are sweet and lovely and hilarious.

This was your letter:

OK, the "Hagen does not know that you are gone," is a little mean, because it's totally not true. 

Anymore. 

Then, you drew a picture of the two of us, smiling and holding hands and marching into the future with confidence, as Hagen wanders around in the background, wondering, "Ware is Dad?"

Poor Hagen. We need to hire him a publicist because he is being unfairly represented in the media:

You have a new kid in your class from some unspecified country in the Middle East (you can't seem to remember). Ermias doesn't speak English, and you have volunteered to be his helper buddy as he gets used to the school. You explained to me that you and Ermias have worked out a system where he points to the swing and then points to you and then you push him on the swing through recess. If that's not the sweetest thing I've heard all week, I don't know what is. As a thanks for your friendship, he drew this picture of (I'm guessing) your dad riding a manatee. This is actually a pretty good artistic representation of your dad's toes.

Sawyer here is very encouraging, with his "I hope you have a great time and don't get fired." Interesting to see where Sawyer's head's at.

And then there's Hollis, whose letter and photo are more about the fun of sleepovers than anything else. 

It is not true that Laney can bike without her hands, but it IS true that she's a foot shorter than Hollis:

No idea who wrote this one, but I like that s/he addressed it to "Mr. Thor," and attempted to write, "I appreciate all your work."

"Dear Thor, Thank you for working for the USA. I like sledding and watermelon and my name is Addisyn, Laney's friend."

Several of the kids wrote variations on "I hope you're having a great time!" which suggests they may be confusing Afghanistan with Panama City. 

Probably for the best.

Alex (who we all remember as your first grade crush) wrote a lovely note about how he likes to play with Legos.

Everything is Funny and Weird And Cool:

Miranda submitted the most literal book report ever:

I can't wait for your dad to get these in the mail. I hope he enjoys them half as much as I do.

Love,
Mom