Y'all Hush: DISNEY

I think in this whole vacation, I am in 4 photos, 3 of them out of focus.

Hey, y'all -

And so I found myself heading into another Disney vacation, because Peg Peg had used her Disney ninja skills and/or drugged me and put me in the trunk.

Usually, being a military spouse is a hard road paved with sacrifice and separation and heartbreak, but it also comes with cheap Disney tickets, so there's that. The Disney folks offer a "Stars and Stripes" ticket that offers five days in a park PLUS five days at their water parks or mini golf courses as long as you use it all in a two week window. I was determined to max that sucker out because I refuse to leave money on the table and I was hell-bent on sticking it to Disney. Your dad reminded me - in his calm, measured tone - that however I used that ticket, I would not be even the tiniest blip on their multi-billion-dollar radar. This is why of the two of us, your dad would make a great President and I should be kept from the nuclear codes at all costs; he's always rational, and I WILL GO TO TYPHOON LAGOON JUST TO STICK IT TO THE MAN.

We played mini golf to start. Laney is really an accomplished putter, scoring under par overall and even getting a hole in one on one of the last holes.

Hagen is an inveterate cheater, which I let him get away with because he's so darn cute and because just getting him to participate in something outside is a miracle. He agreed that the Florida heat was ludicrous.

Peg Peg made us lunch reservations at the T-Rex Cafe, where we were seated directly underneath an animatronic pteranodon. Every ten minutes, that dinosaur would get pissed off about something (maybe the slow service at this particular themed restaurant) and would start flapping its wings and squawking at volume 90 which scared the heck out of Hagen and me. Then a faux meteor shower would happen and lights would flash and the age of the dinosaurs would come to a dramatic end, only to be queued up again in time for everyone to order dessert.

Raise your hand if you love ice cream.

The next day, we entered the Magic Kingdom.

Sometimes, it was hard to tell who the 7 year old was.

At one point, we thought we were getting in line for the Little Mermaid ride, but accidentally got in line for an Ariel meet-and-greet. We had no idea, until we rounded a corner in the sea cave, and there she was, perched on a rock. Laney was a little shocked, but Hagen was fiiiiine with it.

Speaking of the Little Mermaid ride - I've seen that movie dozens of times in my life, but I honestly don't remember King Triton having those abs. It's like they got lazy in the robot lab and put Santa's head on The Rock's body.

This little guy banged our car against the center rail the entire time we were on the Tomorrowland Speedway until we pulled up to the exit and he said "Oh! So if I turn the steering wheel THIS way, the car goes that way too?!?" Oh, my head.