Out In The West Texas Town of El Paso

Hey, y'all - 

After a month of training in the desert outside Ft. Bliss, we found out your dad was going to get three days of leave before getting on the plane to Afghanistan, though he wouldn't be allowed to leave the El Paso area. I thought about it for a whole 30 seconds before I bought an overpriced plane ticket to go be with him. 

I made the decision to go the same night I hosted a birthday party for one of my friends, and when the girls heard about it, they all immediately volunteered to take a childcare shift. Between my friends and Grandma Sue doing the heavy lifting (including all the night shifts), I was able to get away for three precious days with your dad. I will be forever grateful. 

Your dad and I stayed at a lovely hotel downtown and ate more Mexican food than the law ought to allow. We had margaritas and bought cowboy boots - one explains the other. We saw my friend Chris Telles, who I met working on "Murder In Small Town X" for Fox back in 2000 (My first television shoot. In Maine. In winter.) We explored historic towns on the border, and we drove all the way out to White Sands, New Mexico to hike around in the unending miles of white gypsum powder. 

On the way back from White Sands, we stopped for a snack and I laughed to myself, thinking back to the day your dad and I got married. One of our marriage vows was "I will follow you anywhere." At the ceremony, this made some people giggle, because at the time, this southern girl was already living with your dad in a backwoods cabin in rural Montana, so it was obvious I'd follow him anywhere. Anyway, I laughed to myself as I thought, "Sometimes 'anywhere' is the snowy boonies of Montana, and sometimes 'anywhere' is a roadside Chili's in Alamogordo, New Mexico for queso dip."

Ah, well. At the end of our days, you'll be able to say of your parents: "When it came to loving each other, they never half-assed it."

Love,

Mom

P.S. This is your dad's favorite picture from the trip: Me, making a sand angel. It's ridiculous.

Things The Army Has Taught Me, Part I

Hey, y'all - 

Your dad is currently completing some training with the Army. He sent me this picture today, and here was my immediate take-away:

"Boy, that truck is so slimming. Anything standing next to it looks teeny-tiny. Note to self: From this point forward, I would like to only be photographed standing next to a monster truck so as to appear petite by comparison." #SelfieGoals

Love,

Mom

Hagen's 5th Birthday

Dear Hagen,

It is a well-documented fact that you don't care about birthday parties. This works out well, because your sister is more than happy to use your half of the annual birthday party budget.

For weeks before you turned 5, your dad and I had been suggesting fun things we could do to celebrate your birthday. We could go to Spokane! We could go to the hot springs! We could have a party! We could go bowling! You name it! With each suggestion, you'd shrug and go back to whatever you'd been building or sorting when we interrupted you.

A few days before the big day, we were all sitting at breakfast, and I said, "Hagen, please let me know what you want to do for your birthday. I'm open to anything." Laney piped up with, "I think we should go to Disney World!" You thought about it for a moment and said, "Well, probably I want to watch a few shows and then (pointing at Laney with your thumb) I guess we can do her thing." "NO, we are not going to do 'HER THING,'" I explained.

Then, our friend Ms. Correy invited us over for an unrelated multi-family game night, and I said, "Can I bring a cake and we'll just sing Happy Birthday to Hagen while we're there?" Done.

That's when you decided - speaking of cake! - that you wanted a Moana cake. And it should be pineapple cake. With Moana people on it. And cream cheese frosting. It's just like you to have an opinion at the eleventh hour. Since pineapple cream cheese Moana cakes aren't exactly filling the shelves of our local bakery, I made you one myself.

Graham cracker sand and Swedish fish and coconut marshmallows around the bottom. 

Your dad picked out your birthday present...six Transformers that can all be combined to make one enormous mega-Transformer. I am a thousand percent sure your dad bought the Transformers so he could play with them himself.*  I wrapped them individually and handed one to each kid at the party with "Here - give this to Hagen."

We all had fun playing games (your dad beat Mr. Greg at Madden Football again). 

Then it was time for cake and ice cream.

I took a lot of pictures of you blowing out your candles, and you know what I realized when I looked back at them? That the whole time, your sister had been holding on to you so you didn't slip off your chair. That's a sweet sister you have there.

Correy's daughter Abby had just gotten a full-size gymnastics mat for Christmas, so Laney and Abby used it to put together a glow-in-the-dark floor show in your honor, including using an overhead projector to decorate the ceiling. 

The girls came to me and asked me to be the show's announcer - if there's one thing your sister loves, it's being introduced - so I got to announce the "Jaw-dropping, spine-tingling, mind-bending song and dance stylings of Miss Abby Harrison and Miss Laney BURBAAAAAAACHHHH!!!" I also got to make in-show commentary like "I haven't seen that kind of marching in unison this side of North Korea!" Frankly, there are days when my drama degree and I should not be allowed in public. 

At the curtain call, the girls allowed you up on stage and told the audience, "This performance is dedicated to Hagen Burbach!" And you all took a bow. 

What a perfect low-key party for a perfectly delightful low-key guy. 

Love,

Mom

* See? -

God Bless Us, Every One

Merry Christmas, Y'all. 

We did our traditional Christmas Eve activity where we put on the pajamas Peg Peg sent, and I drag out some of my studio lights and I trade you one present for five minutes of posing and good behavior:

Hagen has been really into Pokemon lately...he loves that they are little monsters that can evolve into different monsters, and they come with an honest-to-God handbook detailing which fictional creature has which imaginary powers, and I know this because I've ordered more than one copy and the boy falls asleep reading it every single night. One thing about Hagen: He loves specs. 

As a fun, super-cheap project, I ordered an assortment of 48 mini Pokemon figures (meant to be cupcake toppers), then I put each one in a leftover plastic easter egg and colored the Pokemon logo on each one with a Sharpie. Total cost: $6. I'm sure I don't need to tell you I coulda spent that six bucks and called it a day on Christmas for Hagen.

He opened it, and it blew his little mind and then he put them in a plastic bin and slept with them. 

Christmas morning went exactly as it has every year since Hagen was added to the mix. Laney immediately and enthusiastically opened all of her presents (including this Moana dress-up outfit).

Hagen had to be coaxed into opening presents, and when he did, he wanted to play with each one for the recommended 2- to 3-hour Montessori work period.

This makes Laney BONKERS.

About three hours into the festivities, your dad told me to "take a picture of what Hagen's opened so far." See below: one set of markers, one triceratops, one Lego mini building set and one mini flashlight.

...and then he went back to organizing his Pokemon figures from the night before with the help of his new flashlight. Reverse progress. 

As in years past, we ended up letting Laney open the last of Hagen's gifts and present them to him like a game show hostess. Everyone's happy...well, Laney's happy. Hagen doesn't care either way.

The biggest gift of the day went to your dad, who received a PlayStation and lots of games. From what I understand, he's going to have lots of downtime in a sad plywood bunk room in the Middle East, but they do have wifi, so I wanted him to have something he could watch Netflix on, or play games with. Something - anything - to make the time go faster.

Laney was a PlayStation master (literally) right out of the box. It was amazing to watch her learn how to use the controller. She and her dad had found a common interest and spent a lot of time this holiday playing Jurassic World.

I got bear spray in my stocking. What every Montana girl asks Santa for. 

 

I got to watch you all put together LEGO sets, and chase digital dinosaurs and we all played board games. 

Every minute of it priceless, because your dad was there to share it. 

Love,

Mom