Saturday, December 22, 2018

Dancing About Dinosaurs



Hey y'all - 

The move to the new house put us in a new school zone and meant you'd be changing schools for your 4th and 1st grade years. 

I always love asking you what you imagine you'll grow up to do, just because I find the answers so entertaining. With each passing year, Laney adds more possibilities to the same sheet of paper, while Hagen seems to be drilling down on a subset of a subset of a science. He wants to make robots that look like dinosaurs and Laney wants to do something spiritually fulfilling that makes no money. Excellent. 

On the first day of school, Laney went to her line and recognized people she'd met in kindergarten who all screamed "LANEY!!!" and rushed to hug her. So, her adjustment period to the new school could be measured in milliseconds. 

It's possible Hagen's not aware he's at a new school... in that same way he didn't notice I'd gone on a business trip when he was four and was gone about three days before he asked your dad, "Hey - where did that blonde lady go?"

One sees the forest, one sees the trees.

Love,
Mom

Friday, December 21, 2018

Laney's 9th Birthday


Hey, y'all - 

Laney is positively cuckoo over this cooking competition show on Netflix called "Nailed It." She's seen every episode and forced Hagen to watch them, too. For her 9th birthday celebration, she wanted to host (and compete in) a Nailed It competition at our house. If you want to host a party based on a reality show, a great first step is to have a mom who produces reality TV for a living. It's like telling a mechanic you want to have a spark plug party. Let's do this. 

Laney invited her two best friends, and I set up a competition pantry - each girl got the same ingredients and an apron. I set up three stations in the kitchen, so each contestant would have her own mixing bowls, spatulas, hand mixer, etc. Because I have a double oven and Sue has an oven downstairs, each contestant would get her own oven. 



The girls drew knives, a la "Top Chef," to determine which contestant would get which cooking station. Ella felt no need to alter her normal daily schedule. 



There would be two rounds of competition - A short decorating challenge, and a longer baking challenge. I interviewed Hagen in his role of Judge to see what his expectations were for the competition:
Each girl could hit a Panic button (I used those little hotel bells) once during the competition and get three minutes of help from a grown-up. Each girl could also hit a "Freeze" button once, which would make the competitor of her choice freeze (and stop working) for five minutes. 


For the "Back to School" -themed decorating challenge, the girls had to decorate sugar wafer cookies so they'd look like pencils. 

Hagen was the "taste judge" for this round, and crowned Amya the winner for that abomination on the left because she included an extra pile of blue frosting "for dipping." On one hand: gag me. On the other hand: she knows her audience. 


The it was time for the main baking event. By this time, my kitchen looked like this:




The girls actually did a fantastic job with their challenge to make cupcakes decorated like owls:

Laney

Amya

Laila
The judging was hilarious. They were being judged in three areas: Taste, Presentation, and a third that I've already forgotten. It worked out that each girl won one of the above, so everyone had a great time, and everyone got to sample about 48 cupcakes.



The aftermath:



For her birthday present from us, Laney got a new grown-up paddle board, because she'd outgrown her tiny kids version.


...And as a thank you for his meticulous judging, Hagen got the cardboard that came with it. 



By dinner time, we'd gotten the kitchen almost back to normal. Please note that Ella hasn't moved.


Super fun day for a super fun girl.

Love,
Mom

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Looking Back At Hawaii



Hey, y'all - 



Your dad was sent to RIMPAC in Hawaii by the Navy again last summer, so we all went along (because who wouldn't?) Your dad had to work most of the days we were down there, so when he was gone, I tried to think of kid-friendly outings that could be capably handled by one grown-up (meaning, I'm not taking you body surfing in the ocean by myself because it's impossible to watch two kids at one time in the water). 
This brings me to a very important policy I made up for our family vacations that works like a dream: On vacation, we each get to take a turn picking the next activity, even if it's something no one else is into, and the rest of us have to go along with it with a good attitude, and the picker doesn't need to feel guilty. Enjoy your choice! Even if it's dumb! It's your vacation, too! The important thing is that we're all together. 

Laney's choice was always to go somewhere fun, like the zoo or the aquarium or (more likely) the hotel pool.





Hagen's favorite thing about the zoo remains the maps.


Here's something *I* learned at the Honolulu Zoo: peacocks can fly, and will jump out of trees just to scare the bejeezus out of you. 


"And here's another thing you didn't know about fish..."


Laney also picked Chuck E Cheese's, where I became the all-time high-scorer at the Spongebob Squarepants whack-a-mole game. I'd like to thank my fine southern upbringing for making me able to whack the crap out of stuff with a spatula.

We actually went to both Honolulu locations, so I can tell you there's one that's far nicer, which is information that shouldn't be taking up valuable space in my brain.
At the Aquarium, Hagen kept a journal of all the animals, and even got a tiger shark to stay still for a portrait. This is why a small aquarium that should take one hour to visit took us three.





When it was Hagen's turn to pick, he almost always chose "Stay here in the hotel room." He had air conditioning and movies and LEGOs and was happy to just lie on the couch and chill out. This worked great for me, because it gave me a breather. 


Only once did Hagen lose a turn, because he acted like a complete snot on one of Laney's turns. We had a talk about how he was being selfish, and as a result, we were going to skip him on the next rotation and let Laney pick twice. I remember being so mad, I whispered to him "...and I hope she picks a trip to Target."

He DID enjoy going to restaurants and flirting with hostesses and eating huge plates of food that you can only find in Hawaii where everything is the same color.


Laney spent her hotel-bound time trying to train a pigeon.


Dad's off days were our ocean adventure days.







When it was MY turn to pick, I always picked snorkeling. Snorkeling is such a magical thing to me, and I love that feeling that you're in another world, surrounded by the most amazing tropical fish. 



Your dad tried to teach me to bodyboard, which is when I learned that this is the universal symbol for "You should quit taking pictures and turn around and look at the incoming wave, because you're about to get your butt handed to you" -


On your dad's turn we did a hike through the rainforest to a waterfall. Most of us were game for the adventure, but a certain someone did not like the idea of getting his feet wet.




By the end of the hike, though, he had embraced his inner jungle warrior.



We visited the Dole Plantation (skip it if you can) where they have a huge maze you can try to navigate your way through while stopping at little info points along the way. Y'all, I have zero sense of direction. If left to my own devices, I would have grown old and died in that pineapple-shaped maze, finally going feral as I fruitlessly tried to fight my way to the gift shop. Lucky for us, your dad has an almost supernatural sense of direction and always sounds like a character in a Vietnam war movie, like "We just have to go two clicks south-south-west and we'll find ourselves on that ridge." Uh, okay. 


There were fireworks you could see from our balcony every Friday night.


...and of course there was a luau, which mostly gave your dad a chance to dress like Magnum PI in public. 






I hope when you grow up, you remember some of these memories we made together, but mostly I hope you remember how much fun we had together.




Aloha,
Mom

P.S. Here's a fun tip for anyone flying with their kids on vacation: use a backpack cooler as your carry-on bag. Then, when you get to your destination, you have a great way to carry around picnic lunches and drinks while keeping both hands free to wrangle young'uns.