Because Your Brain Doesn't Process Hypotheticals

Dear Laney,

It started snowing hard n' heavy yesterday afternoon, so of course you wanted to go outside. I know this, because you shrieked and raised both of your hands and planted them on the front door like a television preacher trying to rid the door of its inner demons.

"But Laney," I explained, with a sigh and an eye roll, "if you went outside, you'd need to have a coat and shoes and a hat."

Let me tell you what part of that you heard: Coat. Shoes. Hat. Once you brought me all of those things, I didn't have the heart to explain to you the meaning of "If."

Onward and outward:

You won this round, fair and square.

Love,

Mom