Don't Touch Ennyting

Dear Laney,

When people say, "This has been one of those weeks," let me explain the kind of week they're probably talking about:

On Monday, you were home sick and miserable, I had a huge work deadline, and the Pump Guy surprised us by showing up to put the pump on our well. He would have called to let us know he was coming, but he'd been out hunting and forgot. This passes for a perfectly reasonable excuse in Montana. (Also: I was bagging a trout, I was trapped in the snow, I hit a moose with my truck).

After working all day long, Pump Guy casually said, "So...I think your husband asked me last week if I take credit cards, and here's the thing - I don't." Well, here's the other thing: Holy crap. I won't tell you what the total for the project came to, because talking about money can be seen as tacky, but I will tell you that it added up to The Contents Of Mom's Checking Account + The Contents of Dad's Checking Account + Everything We Made At Last Weekend's Yard Sale + Your Nascent College Fund. I would have put my head between my knees to keep from hyperventilating, but at 7 months pregnant, I can't get my head that close to my legs.

Yesterday, you were feeling so much better - and were in such a sweet mood - that I let you do my hair. As a side note, I always thought that if I opened a beauty parlor, I would name it "Curl Up And Dye."*

Then you threw on some accessories so we could hit the road for a family walk...

Shirt by: BabyGap

Pants by: OshKosh

Necklace by: Talbots

Bracelets by: Party City

...but what you really wanted was to push your teddy bear in a stroller.

You of course wanted to do it all by yourself, and when your dad stepped in to help you push it up the hill, you told him: "Stop! No! Don't touch ennyting!" This was one of those times as parents when we were supposed to step in and tell you that you do NOT talk to your father like that, but mostly we stared at each other wondering if we'd heard you right. Sometimes, you can be very mean to your dad. Speaking of bullying:

This morning, Ella and Gus got in a tussle, and - depending on which dog you ask - either Gus fell into and through our greenhouse window, or he was pushed. CSI report is pending. Gus is perfectly fine, but our window is gone and needs to be replaced.

I think I'm going to take your advice and go sit on the couch and try not to touch ennyting for the rest of the week.

Love,

Mom

* Since originally publishing this post, I have received an e-mail from eagle-eyed reader Clay Mercer of Dooly County, GA, letting me know that there is already a hairstyling establishment in Cordele, GA called "Curl Up And Dye." I should have known. Cordele has always been on the cutting edge of comedy.