Get Your Tequila For Nothin' And Your Cars For Free

Dear Laney,

I once walked to Tijuana. Brian and I parked in San Ysidro, CA and walked across the pedestrian bridge into Mexico. Immediately, we learned that things in Mexico don't have a set price like they do here in the States. Everything was for sale and everything was negotiable.

Thees many pesos for a round of tequila. No?

Ok, thees many. No?

Ok, everything's free for the laydeeez.

Our house these days is a lot like Tijuana, minus the authentic Mexican food and the smell of goat pee. Everything is a negotiation.

If you let me braid your hair, I'll give you a Tootsie Roll. No?

OK, two Tootsie Rolls. No?

Fine, a sucker.

This morning, I was a party to this conversation:

Laney: Mom, I want a car.

Mom: A WHAT?!?

Laney: A car. A blue one.

Mom: Go tell your dad you want a car and see what he says. (NOTE: This is my new strategy for stress-free parenting: outsourcing all the crazy to your dad).

Overheard from the bedroom:

Laney: Dad! I want a car.

Dad: A CAR?!?

Laney: Yeah. A blue one.

Dad: OK, Laney. I'll make you a deal. If you give up your pacifier today, I will buy you a jalopy when you turn 16.

Laney pops the pacifier out of her mouth and exchanges it for this napkin from Dad:

If I were you, I'd squirrel this napkin away somewhere safe and spring it on your dad 14 years from now. Of course, if I were you, I would have stayed in the negotiations long enough to also secure myself a case of Reposado and a quart-sized bag of miscellaneous prescription meds. Just like in the real Tijuana.

Love,

Mom