It's A Lot Like Zombies

Dear Laney,

Your dad and I have been watching this super-scary TV show lately that's all about zombies wreaking havoc in America. Because we are both nerds, we like to watch episodes of this show and then have a very serious discussion about what our contingency plan would be, should an army of the undead start marching its way through rural Montana*. Anyway, the gist of the show is that something has taken over these people's brains, and rendered them completely unrecognizable from their former selves. I'm starting to think this is a lot like becoming a grandparent.

Take my mother, for example: in every way, she is a take-no-prisoners professional... until she gets in our living room and you convince her to cram herself into a polyester tunnel as part of a low-budget Vegas magic show.

Your dad and I have been so busy having your brother and bringing him home that it's fallen to some of your grandparents to take care of you while we've been otherwise occupied. We are eternally thankful, but we're also kind of surprised at how our parents behave when they're left unsupervised.

You had a few slumber parties with Grandma Sue, which I'm sure included late-night desserts and Dora viewing parties. Peg Peg and Tex have invented all kinds of games and distractions for you here, and last night around 9:30p, I heard you tell Peg Peg, "I want to get my crayons and color." Having been raised by the same woman, I smiled and prepared myself to hear, "You want to color at 9:30? You're OUT OF YOUR MIND. Get in bed and hush." Instead, what I heard sounded a lot like, "Okay."

The grandchild zombie has eaten her brain.

Love,

Mom

* Your dad's theory is that their brains would freeze in Montana. Here's hoping.