Our Pirate Problem

Dear Laney,

Welcome to another installment of Bad Parenting 101: Tips And Techniques From The Burbach Household.

Getting you into your clothes and getting your hair done in time for you to leave for school every morning was a major hassle, until we had a spirited round of negotiations and it was decided that I could dress you in anything I wanted, and could do your hair any way that struck my fancy IF I let you watch an episode of Jake and the Never Land Pirates and eat one (1) Hershey's kiss. Note that if this were the 1950s, the final version of this deal would have been: You let me do your hair, and I don't beat you with this stick.

Jake and the Never Land Pirates is a preschool spin-off of Peter Pan...

...and now, all you can talk about is pirates and pirate-related business. Throwing yourself down the slide at the park: "Gangway!" As I'm getting into your bed to read you a story: "Climb aboard, Mommy." En route to the carousel: "Full speed ahead!" I have no problem with this. For one thing, a toddler who says, "Arrrrr!" is adorable, and for another, this has signaled the death of Dora in our house. Yo ho ho!

This morning, your dad used his Masters in Geography to make you a mini treasure map, and used his middling craft skills to make you a pouch necklace for your pixie dust, to be used "only in emergencies." Or so you say:

Hi diddly dee, a pirate's life for me.

Love,

Mom