Sucker

Hey y'all -

I lost my ATM card a few weeks ago. Well, that's not really true. I lost my ATM card a few months ago, and then called and reported it missing.  The bank promptly sent me a replacement, but before I could even take the new card off its paper backing, I lost the replacement. I'm notorious for losing small items, and I know it drives your dad nutso that I can walk from the couch to the oven and lose the television remote for all eternity somewhere in those fifteen feet. Anyway, now I'm just too embarrassed to admit to the bank that I need a third card. Instead, I've been driving through the bank to make my weekly deposit and withdrawal.

Funny, because for years I've wondered why they still have those drive-throughs when you can do everything at the machine. Now I know: they're for little old ladies who miss the 70's, and moms in their 30s on their 28th ATM card.

The only person profiting from this situation is this guy:

...because the sweet teller can see him on the video camera, and always says, "I see you brought your helper. Do you think he'd like a lollipop?" and Hagen from the backseat says, "YEAH!"

He's in such good graces with the bank staff that as soon as he starts stringing compound sentences together, I'm going to have him call and order me a new debit card.

Love,
Mom