Y'all Hush: In Summmmerrrr..

Hey y'all -

It's December 9th here. It's rainy and grey and cold and gross and so I can think of nothing I'd rather do than recap our summer.

I was looking at the numbers of entries by year on this blog and was shocked by how few I've written in 2015. Then I remember that every weekend, I spend 30 minutes of my life cutting 30 fingernails and 30 toenails and little by little your day gets eaten away by stuff like that when you have two active kids who are into leaving the house and doing stuff. Also: we've been introduced to homework.

But here's what I can remember of what we did this past summer:

1) Your Grandpa Ron came to visit. We spent a lot of time hanging out at the lakes nearby.

Hagen, you and Ron really hit it off, perhaps because you seem to have the same nap schedule:

But here's the thing about Ron...he's in his mid-80s and likes to act like he's an old man who couldn't possibly get up out of that lawn chair...

...And then a pretty girl asks him to dance and the next thing you know, he's boogying his butt off in the middle of downtown Missoula.

By the way, this is what it looks like when everyone you've given birth to wants to dance with you at the same time. And they always want to dance with you at the same time:

2) Grandpops came to visit from Missouri. We flew him out to help us build a new covered deck on the side of our house. Uncle Nate drove over to help, and in less than a week, I pretty much had a deck. I spent a lot of time that week trying to come up with a new reality show format that would involve Uncle Nate and his nail gun, because I don't think I've ever seen anything move that fast. I also bought A LOT of beer that week. I'd like to thank KettleHouse Brewery for making my deck possible.

There were SO many trips to Home Depot.

While Grandpops was here, we also went to the county fair, which is the biggest ripoff in the entire world and you might as well buy a ticket to Disney World for what it costs to ride the Ferris Wheel three times.

I mean, you pay $4 to walk through a Fun House and slide down onto a dirty twin mattress. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?!?

But every year I go back, so... Fool me five times, shame on me.

Speaking of Nate, on one of the days he was here, I had volunteered to host a preschool Pirate Treasure Hunt for Hagen's school at the park. I was scrambling that morning to put it all together: set up the plank, hide the clues, bury the treasure... when Uncle Nate pulled up to the curb with two large coffees, ready to lend a hand and save the day. I have never loved an in-law as much as I loved him in that moment.

When the kids found the treasure and attacked it like a bunch of raving hyenas, Nate used the professional skills he'd learned as a bouncer to tell all those three year olds to back the hell up and pick a prize one at a time.

3) My friend Amy came out to visit from California with her two children: Julia and Christian. They are the NICEST kids on the planet, and I'm not just saying that. I'm known, in fact, for saying "Hell is other people's children." But these two played with you guys and were so patient even though they're so much older and included you in everything.

We only encountered one (memorable) hiccup during their visit. One afternoon, Laney, you were jumping on the trampoline in the yard with 8 year-old Christian. He made the mistake of lying down on the trampoline, and I guess you decided that he was pretending to be a prince under a spell, because you climbed over to him and planted a kiss right on his lips and said, "THAT ought to wake you up." He took it pretty well, but you and I had to have a talk about informed consent about 8 years ahead of schedule.

By the next afternoon, you guys were back to having whispered conversations on the lakeshore, so I guess he's not permanently scarred. For all I know, you're engaged.

4) I worked on a show called "Home Free" that aired on Fox. This woman is crying because she's so excited I'm employed.

5) Peg and Tex came to visit. We went on a hike.

We went on a photo scavenger hunt around the neighborhood.

We did lots of fun things that I can't find pictures of, so I'm sure my mother is wondering why I'm instead posting these pictures of her on the internet without her hair and make-up done.

Oh! Speaking of! When I was in Nashville this summer for Kim's wedding, I shared a hotel room with Peg Peg and Tex. One night of our stay, around 2 in the morning, the hotel's fire alarm went off. I said, "Y'all, this could be real. No one's answering at the front desk. We should evacuate." Peg and Tex sort of made motions to get up and go, but they didn't seem to agree that it was an emergent situation. In my pajamas, I grabbed my shoes and told them I would meet them outside. I didn't even stop to look for my glasses - I was just GONE. Down seven flights of stairs, sure that I would be pursued by a Michael Bay fireball. I stood outside that hotel with all the other hotel guests and about five fire engines because YES, there was a natural gas leak that had been reported and needed to be cleared. Around fifteen minutes later, your grandparents emerged from the side entrance, and I want you to know that your grandmother had on a matching outfit, with coordinated shoes and purse and her hair was in place. And you know the first thing I thought?

"This is why Southern women will never survive the zombie apocalypse."

One good thing about having a grandmother who's a lifelong medical professional is when you play "Doctor," she can give you valuable advice like "Don't ever say you don't know what's wrong with him. Say you're going to run some tests and he should make a follow-up appointment in two weeks."

We had so much company this summer, that Laney started putting Post-its on the bathroom door: