Laney's Got a Phone

Dear Laney,

Since we moved into "town" three years ago, we haven't had a home phone. Our cell phones work just fine, and we didn't see the need to have a landline (so millennial of us, I know). But every once in a while, I would think how much easier it would be to teach you and Hagen a 7-digit home number instead of trying to explain, "If you're ever lost, you'll probably be scared and confused and you'll need to remember these ten digits in this order..." 

So when our cable company offered us a free home phone line as part of a service bundle, we figured, "Why not?" For fun, we told you it could be YOUR phone, and we taught you the number in case of emergencies. I should have known you'd take to a new communication device like a dog takes to ham. 

I programmed in all the grandparents' phone numbers, and the numbers for your best buddies, and you have no problem scrolling through the menu and ringing people up. I'll admit it's a little disconcerting to see "Laney Burbach" on my caller ID when I'm traveling. 

For a minute, I thought, "Maybe we were being ridiculous, telling a first grader that she could have a phone," but it has already paid off in a couple of fabulous ways:

1) You dad hates talking on the phone, which is fine, because he's terrible at it. Now when I go on a business trip or even if I've gone to the grocery store and realize I've forgotten my shopping list, I don't even bother calling your dad - I call you. I had to go to Palm Springs a few weeks ago for work, and was having lunch there with my friend, Brian. I explained to Brian how great it was to call you on the phone. "She always answers between the first and second ring," I told him, "And she'll be happy to tell you everything that happened to her all day long, usually starting with, 'It was good good good good...' I highly recommend it."

Knowing that you love a good knock-knock joke, Brian looked some up and called you on your number. Sure enough, you answered immediately. It went like this:

Brian: "Knock-knock"

Laney: (click)

I called you right back and explained, "That was Brian calling. He just wanted to tell you some jokes." "Oh," you said, "I just knew it was some strange boy trying to tell me knock-knock jokes, and I didn't want to hear it, so I hung up."

It took me 30+ years to learn I could just hang up on strange boys I didn't want to talk to, so bravo!

2) Your grandmother Peg-Peg is a little Disney-crazy. We have a trip to Disney World coming up on the calendar, which means that months and months ahead of time, Peg has been wanting to talk about where we could have lunch on a distant Wednesday at 1pm. Since I normally don't know what I want to eat thirty minutes from now, I have no real opinion on the Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical Revue vs anywhere else. Now, I have a phone number to give Peg Peg where she can reach someone who's willing to hold the phone and twirl her hair and discuss the relative merits of a Rapunzel meet n' greet. Outsourcing!

Love,

Mom