Friday, December 11, 2015

Stuff You're Into: Birthday Edition


Dear Hagen,

Incredible to believe, but you're turning 4 in a few weeks. I feel like you should still be 2; 2 sounds right. I thought we'd take a moment to discuss some of the things you're doing and enjoying these days, so I don't forget:

1) "CHEEEEEEEEEEESE!" It's the best and worst thing ever, all at once.




2) BEING CHARMING AS HECK - Your dad and I are already discussing that it's only a matter of time before girls start calling our house. Your dad took you to a place called "The Man Cave" (I know) to get your hair cut a few weeks ago, and sent me this picture. It was your first time to have your hair cut professionally - usually I do it with the clippers in the yard and it's free and you get a popsicle and everyone's happy. But you wanted to go and sit in the "spinny chair." According to your dad, you talked to the ladies in the barber shop the whole time you were there.


Then, when your haircut was over, the stylist said, "You are just the cutest! Are you going to come back and see me?" According to your dad, you said, "Sure. I just need to let my hair grow a little first."

We met up with some friends downtown last weekend, and you hugged 9 year-old Ora's neck and told her you'd missed her and then YOU KISSED HER HAND. I have no idea where you got that. Ora's mom looked at me and said, "He's already got more game than his dad," which is true (sorry, Thor.)




I took you with me a few days later when it was Laney's turn for a new hairdo, and you entertained HER hairstylist, too. 



When Laney's haircut was finished, Morgan the stylist said, "You are just ADORABLE! Can I play with your hair, too?" And you hopped right on over.



 Basically, everyone who meets you wants to eat you up with a spoon.

3) TRANSFORMERS - Still. I refuse to donate any more column inches to those things, but trust that I know the difference between an Autobot and a Decepticon. You only put one thing on your Christmas list this year: "A robot that can turn into a dinosaur that is also a race car but is a good guy."

When you're playing with your Transformers, you make gun sounds like this: "PUH-CHEW! PUH CHEW!" You warn the bad guys that they'd better not give you trouble, or you'll "puh-chew" them. It's the cutest thing ever,  probably because it's so unrealistic. It definitely doesn't bode well for your future as a Foley artist.

4) PLAYING WITH YOUR SISTER - I can't believe how lucky we are that you get along so well. I think 90% of our success is because you're so easygoing and willing to perform whatever role she assigns you. Lately, you're always the student and she's the teacher. When I advocate for you: "Say, Laney, why don't you let Hagen have a turn to be the teacher?" Laney always says, "What if he's the teacher's helper?" This is totally a scam because the "teacher's helper" gets told what to do just as often as the "student" does. But you seem happy with the fake promotion.


This morning at 3:00am, I woke up because I heard you two playing with LEGOs* downstairs in your room. Seems you couldn't sleep, so you came upstairs and woke Laney up and you guys thought it would be totally appropriate in the middle of the night to head downstairs together and start building a fortress. I stomped down there to break up the fun and when I got to your door, you were both silent and still, hiding under the covers. Like, who did you think you were fooling? I made you both go to your own respective rooms and turn out the lights, while also saying a quick prayer that you always have that kind of fun together. 

5) YOUR BEST FRIEND, FINLEY - The bromance continues. 



At the brewery the other day, while the adults were catching up, I watched the two of you get a bucket of board games out and silently work together to put together "Boggle." You don't fuss, you don't negotiate...you just have a mutual interest in putting stuff together and making it work. 


6) STICKS. Especially if they have magical powers. 


7) TAKING YOUR SWEET TIME - You are never in a hurry. Ever. We went to your parent-teacher conference a little while ago, and your teacher said, "I LOVE HAGEN! He's the sweetest, and so easy-going and just loves to snuggle. I shouldn't say this, but he's definitely one of my favorites!" "But?" I asked. "But," she continued, "...You can't rush him." I said, "Like you want to look at that sweet little face and yell, 'FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, CAN YOU PLEASE PUT ON YOUR DAMN SHOES?!?'" And she nodded like she knew exactly what I was talking about. 

Your school divides all the kids into two groups: The Nappers and the Non-Nappers. There are two lunch periods...first the Non-Nappers eat and then head out to the park so the school will be quiet. Then, the Nappers eat before settling down to rest. Last month, you asked me if you could make the transition from Napper to Non-Napper. I called the school and asked your teacher, "Would it be a big deal to add Hagen to the Non-Nappers?" "No problem!" she assured me. "It takes him so long to eat, we had already added him to that first lunch...and then he just stays through the second." That's right: two lunch periods, because it takes you an hour to eat some chicken fingers. 

8) BEING THE COOLEST GUY I KNOW.


Love,
Mom

* I know that the plural of LEGO is LEGO and not LEGOs, but it sounds so weird, I'm choosing to ignore it.

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