Field Trippin'

Dear Laney,

You're currently at an age when you're TOTALLY STOKED if I go with your class on a field trip. So I like to go on as many of them as possible, because I know it's only a matter of time 'til you act like you've never seen me before in your life and you spend sleepovers talking about how LAME I am. 

Today, I went with your class on a field trip to the Agricultural Center. I even rode the bus. 

(Ms. Lynn, wishing we would behave, probably)

The Ag School is owned by the school district and high school students work there, raising crops, pigs, sheep, goats and chickens for sale. At the start of the visit, the lead faculty member gave us a little presentation about the working farm and the animals who live there, and I swear to all that's holy I thought I had accidentally taken a bus ride to a Coen Brothers movie.

(In the movie, he would be played by Steve Buscemi).

Instructor: ...And sometimes, an animal has to be euthanized. Does anyone know what "euthanized" means? 

Chorus of Montana children: It means you have to put them down!

WHAT?!?

I learned that Jewel the sow had to be put down because she broke her leg and refused to eat any more. I learned that Mr. Slippers the boar had to be put down because he attacked a boy on a field trip and "ate the shirt clean off him." The old mare (whose name I can't remember - R.I.P.) had been put down because of broken ribs and arthritis, but they decided to CUT HER OPEN to study her out front in the parking lot, and it made a pool of blood "the size of this classroom."

The children were absolutely unfazed, but I was traumatized. 

Then he asked if there were any questions. "Dear God, NO!" I may have said aloud. But a little 6 yr old up front raised his hand and wanted to know HOW they sent these animals back to their maker. Answer: bolt gun. "And it turns their brains off right away, so they don't feel any pain."

We could have just stayed at school and watched No Country For Old Men. 

But we did get to pet some stuff, so there's that:

Farmers are special people. Thank God for them, because the Venn diagram of Drama Majors and People Who Can Put Stuff Down With A Bolt Gun would look like two completely separate circles on either side of a bloody parking lot. 

Love,

Mom