Your First Time At The Movies

Dear Laney,

You've been acting so grown up lately, I thought you might be ready for your first trip to the movie theatre. Your dad and I had not been to the movies since since seeing "Star Trek" in the summer of '09. At this point, you might be doing the math in your head and realizing that you were also born in the summer of '09. Coincidence? Hardly.

We perused the movie listings and discovered that "The Lion King" was playing at our local movie theatre in 3D. You had never been to a movie, your dad and I had never seen a 3D movie... it was going to be an adventure for everyone! [Not to ruin the suspense, but after having read 723 blog entries, you should know that any story that starts out with an optimistic tone and an exclamation point is bound to go a little off the rails.]

You always hear people talking about how expensive movie concessions are, but since I hadn't bought any in so long, I thought it was one of those cliches - like comedians making fun of airline food - just an overused joke that may or may not be true. But gadzooks! Do you know how much a small popcorn and a small fruit punch COSTS? TWELVE DOLLARS!!! I didn't smuggle snacks in my purse because I thought getting popcorn should be part of the "experience." I didn't think getting out my Visa should have to be a part of the experience, however. Ok, rant over.

They showed a preview for "Alvin and the Chipmunks III," and your dad and I rolled our eyes at each other at how stupid it looked, but as soon as Alvin started singing, you hollered, "MOM! 'AT'S FUNNY!"

I couldn't keep the dang 3D glasses on over my already big plastic eyeglasses, and when I asked you if you wanted to put on your glasses, you looked at me like I had three heads and said, "NO, MOM! IS DARK!" Well, duh.

For the first 30 minutes of the movie, you were a doll. Then you got restless and wanted to walk around the aisle, which was fine because we picked an area where we weren't near anyone else. You sat in my lap, you walked around, you sat on the ground and ate the last of the $1-per-kernel popcorn from the bag, and then the movie was over. It probably went about as well as could be expected.

In the parking lot after the movie, you saw a crow perched on the light post next to our car and yelled, "BIRD! I COMING! I SAVE YOU!" You climbed the cement foot of the light, then Dad asked, "How are you going to get all the way up there? Are you going to climb the 30ft pole?" You actually lifted your knee up against the pole like that was exactly what you were going to do, before deciding, "At's hard work!" and getting down. In short: The bird you wanted to rescue who did not need to be rescued was not rescued. And this was the highlight of our trip to the movies.

Love,

Mom