Secret Agent Laney

Dear Laney,

Holy moly. How could this have been six whole years ago?

You love for me to tell you the story of how you were born - how you didn't want to come out, so the doctors had to go in after you, and even then, you tucked your head and hung on because you knew a good thing when you had it. And the doctor had to tug and tug and was overheard to say, "Work with me here, kid." And then they pulled you free and you cried and they put you on the scale and discovered you weighed over eleven pounds, and the labor and delivery nurse said, "Well, this one's ready for kindergarten."

You love every part of that story. 

In the six years since we brought you home, you've never stopped being amazing. 

Now that you're a big kid, you're into stuff like reading your own books and writing stories and helping to make dinner and watching TV shows and movies where characters solve a mystery - "Inspector Gadget" and "Scooby Doo," especially. I pitched you the idea of having a Secret Agent / Mystery party, and it's a good thing you went for it because your first inclination was to have another princess party and I simply could not. 

First came the invitations:

Then we started planning the activities.

After multiple tries and much cussing, I determined that baking soda and water would make a decent invisible ink that could be revealed with grape juice concentrate. 

Then we hung a black "spy" T-shirt/smock (thanks, dollar store) for each kid, along with a agent badge with each kid's photo. I knew that even to a spy party, 5 and 6 year-old girls can be counted on to wear big fluffy party dresses, and I didn't want to have to explain to any angry mamas that grape juice concentrate does not come out of anything, ever. 

We decorated our tree house as Dr. Evil's lair.

There was an "Aqua Target Range" where you and your friends had to score 20 points by throwing water balloons at a target and doing the math. If I had this party to do over, I would have skipped every other thing you've read about on this blog post and just filled up a thousand water balloons and called it a day. Kids are gaga for water balloons. 

Decoding the secret message

There was a fake "popcorn stand" that one clue led you to, but the popcorn bags were really filled with DUH DUH DUH...SECRET DISGUISES SO YOU COULD SNEAK UP ON DR. EVIL!

Your dad made a "Laser Maze" out of red yarn and leftover garden supplies. 

I don't remember all the clues, but I know they ended with you finding the hidden cake on top of the freezer in the garage - basically, where all villains keep their best stash. 

The adults had a pretty good time, too. Your Grandpops was visiting, and he held down the fort in the Agent Lounge:

...And your dad and I were our normal, embarrassing selves. 

At the end of the party, there was an impromptu game of Tug-Of-War, featuring your dad vs...everyone else at the party. Your dad won. 

It was an exhausting-but-fabulous day. 

I can't believe I'm admitting this online, but here was my best idea of the whole shebang: 

I had you write one thank you note template in sharpie, then I ran off 15 copies of it on my printer, so when it came time to write thank-you notes, you just had to fill in the name of the gift-giver and the name of the gift and slap a sticker on it! Brilliant! Evil! Thoughtful! Lazy as hell! All in one!

The party took a lot of time and planning, but you are absolutely worth it. Six years later, you're still the best thing going.

Love,
Mom

P.S. Your actual birthday was on a Monday, so I told you I'd take you out to birthday lunch anywhere you wanted. You picked Cracker Barrel. I put this picture on Instagram:

...And Cracker Barrel corporate wished you a happy birthday:

So that's...something.