Dear Hagen,
You like to pick an obsession and stick with it...for about six weeks. The first half of this summer, it was being a fireman. My friend Amy bought you a fire safety suit and you wore it every day for 29 days. You would walk up to strangers in the park and demand, "WHAT'S YOUR 'MERGENCY?!?" and then consult the firefighting checklist that came in the pocket of your outfit. You asked me to name my 'mergency dozens of times a day, and I got pretty good at it:
"I was driving a school bus and it went over a bridge and now there are school children in the river! Help us, Fireman Hagen!!!"
"I was blowing out the candles on my birthday cake and I accidentally caught my curtains on fire and the whole house is going to burn if you don't hurry!!!"
"There's a whole family of cats stuck in the tree outside and I don't know what I'm going to do if we can't save those kittens!!!"
Usually, I would gasp and cover my eyes with my forearm like a silent movie actress to really convey my stress. This is what you get for having a drama major as a mother. No matter what ridiculous scenario I came up with, you'd always grab your emergency instruction card and yell: "I'M ON IT!"
(Then you'd mostly run in circles in the living room, making miscellaneous "Pssh pssshh" sounds and waving your arm around with its imaginary hose.)
Every night, you would give me your fireman coat to wash, so it would be ready "for any 'mergencies in the morning." Then one day, you lost interest in the coat and didn't put it on any more. On the one hand, I was sad that I wouldn't see the daily heroics of Fireman Hagen, but on the other hand, I was tired of washing a load of delicates every night.
Then, one day last month, came the Transformers.
I think you discovered the Transformers courtesy of the "Rescue Bots" cartoon on Netflix. Then Grandma Sue bought you an actual Transformer, which your dad actually let you have a turn to play with when he was done.
Soon, everything was about the Transformers and transforming. I had to tell your teacher, "Look, it's possible that throughout the day, Hagen is going to make a BEEP BOP BOOP sound and crumple to the floor in the fetal position. Don't be alarmed; he's just 'transforming' into a vehicle of some sort and he'll be back with you momentarily."
This summer, when Peg Peg and Tex were visiting, you made Peg Peg read you an entire library of Rescue Bot books. One evening I was cooking in the kitchen and I heard you sigh on the couch, exasperated: "Is not the 'Autobahn,' Peg Peg. Is the AutoBOTS." "Well, how am I supposed to know that?" she demanded.
Your sister Laney got some money for her birthday, and decided to spend some of it, instead of hoarding it like she usually does. She bought herself a set of Elsa and Anna dolls on Amazon, then we noticed that there was an Optimus Prime jacket on sale for just $12, so she used some of her birthday money to buy something for you:
You were over the moon.
The first thing you wanted to do was make a movie to show Uncle Nate. So we did that. And then you said, "Now I want to make a movie to show Peg Peg" -
Can't wait to see what new obsession next month brings.
Love,
Mom
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