Stowaway

Hey y'all -

Yesterday, I had a day all to myself to do Mom things. At the end of my errands in town, I stopped by the craft store. Laney's been asked to be the flower girl in a wedding next month, and Tracy told me the craft store might have something cute she could wear in her hair. I considered this particular white feather doohickey, then decided against it.

As I was driving home and merging onto the interstate, I noticed something white and feathery hanging down in front of the speedometer. "Huh," I thought, "I guess one of those feathers at the craft store got caught on my clothes." As I leaned forward to flick it away, I considered, "That doesn't really look like a feather. It looks more like...

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Yep, right before I touched it, I figured out that it was A MOUSE'S TAIL, and the mouse was living inside my dashboard, inches from my hands, and his tail had fallen free, and was dangling from the seam in the plastic above my gauges.

For purposes of dramatic re-enactment, it looked something like this:

And then it started flicking around. I'm not proud of this, but I screamed. I would say I hyperventilated, except that I was able to call your dad and have this conversation, which I am also not proud of:

Mom: THERE IS A &$%@& MOUSE IN MY DASH.

Dad: How do you know?

Mom: BECAUSE I CAN SEE HIS &$%@& TAIL!!!

Dad: laughs

Mom: THIS IS NOT &$%@& FUNNY!

Dad: laughs

Mom: I'm driving 70 miles an hour on cuise control with my feet up in the seat in case he comes out onto the floorboard. If he pokes his head out and I see it, this might be the last conversation you have with me, because you'll find this car upside down in a &$%@& RAVINE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

Dad: laughs

Mom: We'll see how funny you think it is when you have to come get me in Frenchtown, because no way in hell am I driving this car all the way home.

So I drove to your old day care, where Miss Tracy found me in her driveway, with the hood to my car up, the driver's side door open, banging on the dash with a hairbrush.

Dad loaded you guys up and drove to Frenchtown where we exchanged cars, so I could drive the non-rodent-infested vehicle home.

Maybe this country mouse wanted to be a city mouse. Now he knows he can hitch a ride with Dad next time.

Ugh.

Love,

Mom