"You Came!"

Dear Laney,

My favorite 20 seconds of every day happen around 4am. You've woken up for your middle of the night feeding, and I can hear you fussing upstairs in your crib. I sneak up there with a bottle and as soon as you see me, you flash this mega-watt smile that says "I threw a party, and you showed up! Awesome!"

At least, I hope that smile is for me, and not just the bottle. In any case, it makes getting up at 4am totally worth it.

Love,

Mom

Fun With Ella

Dear Laney,

Your dad, who knows everything about everything obscure, says that the Inuit people would often leave their small children behind in an igloo while they went out to work, and would leave the sled dogs in charge of babysitting.

I would have doubted this story if Ella hadn't been giving me the impression lately that she thinks she could do a better job at this mothering thing than I can. Sometimes when you cry, Ella howls at me, like "YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG!"

At least I don't lick your face. Usually.

Love,

Mom

The Exciting World of Construction

Dear Laney,

Today, your dad worked on the fence in the backyard, and you helped out by holding the level...with your mouth. That's probably how the pros do it, but you should ask Uncle Nate to be sure.

Love,

Mom

7 Months Old: A Developmental Round-Up

Dear Laney,

You're a little over 7 months old, and here is a snapshot of what's going on in your world:

1. You're into exploring EVERYTHING. No matter what I'm holding, you want to touch it. And once you've touched it, your implied follow-up question is, "Yes, but how does it taste?" I usually let you pursue this line of questioning, because it's the only way you'll learn the difference between snacks and socks.

2. I have almost completely given up on trying to feed you myself, and have instead turned that responsibility over to you. Trying to feed you purees with a little spoon was making us both nuts. You always wanted me to do it better/faster, so one day I got frustrated and said "Here, dang it, take the whole banana." And you ate it all by yourself. That'll teach me. You also enjoy feeding yourself avocados, peach slices, sweet potato chunks, crackers... you get the idea. We are all happier with you in charge.

3. We have invented a new game, loosely titled "Bucket." Here's how "Bucket" works: I fill a small plastic bucket (this one) with about 20 random objects (measuring cups, a book light, small toys, etc). You unpack the items in the bucket one by one, examining them as you go, then dropping them and moving on to the next thing. When you've emptied the bucket, you look at me from the center of your massive pile with an expression that says "That's it?" This occupies you for about 12 minutes, and allows me to unload the dishwasher.

4. You've invented your own method of crawling, which is usually a backwards/sideways combination. Often, we don't actually see you move; we just look away for a second and when we look back, you're halfway under the dining room table. Your dad sometimes calls you Ninja Baby.

Everyone always talks about the "miracle of birth." Birth is okay, as miracles go, but the most amazing moments for me have been watching you learn some new skill every day on your way to becoming your own person.

Love,

Mom

La Dolce Vita

Dear Laney,

Today, we went to town to run a few errands, and ended up meeting Virginia and Mollie at Caffe Dolce for lunch.

You girls were a hoot.

You snacked, you shrieked, you giggled. Mollie blew raspberries and then you pulled her barrette out of her hair and tried to eat it. You whacked Mollie on the face, and she reached over and hugged you because she's a forgiving soul. Or maybe this is her trying to choke you. Hard to tell.

A great time was had by all. Especially Mollie.

Love,

Mom

This Is The Way We Check Our Mail...

Dear Laney,

This is the way we check our mail

check our mail, check our mail...

This is the way we check our mail

So early in the mor-niiiing.

Love,

Mom

And Now For My Next Trick

Dear Laney,

Last night, it was warm upstairs so I put you to bed in just a T-shirt and your diaper. Your dad is always trying to sell me on the idea that you want to be pants-free, so I figured we'd give it a shot.

When I went upstairs in the dark to feed you at 4am, I reached my hand down into your crib and felt..naked butt.

Now, there have been times when the fatigue of being a parent has made me question if I'm losing my mind. Like the time a few weeks ago when I watched the microwave cook for almost 2 minutes before I realized I hadn't put anything IN the microwave, and I was just sleepily watching an empty turntable spin 'round and 'round. But I couldn't have possibly put you to bed without a diaper, could I?

So I turned on the light, and that's when I discovered that you had learned how to take off your own diaper, and how to throw it to the edge of your crib. And I'm sure I don't need to include that you had wet EVERYTHING. But you were so obviously proud of yourself that I couldn't even be irritated.

But one things for sure - it's the end of your pants-free days, missy.

Love,

Mom

No Autographs, Please

Dear Laney,

Today in the mail, we got this pair of fabulous, glamorous sunglasses from your grandfather in Georgia. They were still in their original 1950s-era packaging. All I can say is kids in the 50s must have had much smaller heads than they do now.

Love,

Mom

Today, You Have A Cold

Dear Laney,

It took almost seven months, but today you're having your first semi-illness. You're congested and have a runny nose. All day long, we've been hanging out upstairs with the heater and humidifier running full blast. It may look like Montana, but it feels like South Georgia.

My friend Will called today and asked about you - he wanted to know if you were still able to eat when you don't feel good. Oh, yes. There has been no change to your enthusiastic eating schedule. Not being able to breathe doesn't seem to slow your banana intake. You get this from me; I have often said that my stomach is a mighty fortress. Actually, I said that when I was eating a piece of pizza while in labor with you.

I hope you feel better soon!

Love,

Mom

P.S. If you're all grown up and you're looking at this picture wondering, "Is my shirt on backwards?" allow me to point you in the direction of your dad.

Miss Virginia's Crawling 101

Dear Laney,

Today, I got my teeth cleaned. I promise to be vigilant about your dental hygiene so you never have to live through an afternoon like the one I just had. I might have to "take to my bed," as your grandmother Peg Peg is fond of saying. She especially likes to combine taking to her bed with watching figure skating, which I've never understood.

After the dentist, we stopped by Virginia and Mollie's house to say hello. Mollie is crawling like it's her job. Miss Virginia tried to show you some moves to help you get started, but I think you're lacking mostly in the motivation department.We should have scattered some chips on the rug.

Eh, as long as you're going to be unmotivated, you might as well look mahvelous.

Love,

Mom

You Know It's A Party When...

Dear Laney,

What a big full day we had!

This afternoon, you and your dad went to the park while I took a class in Infant CPR. I learned what to do if you ever start choking, which is good since lately you want to cram anything in your mouth that's smaller than a toaster. Actually, you would probably also gum the toaster. In class today, we were taught that the correct procedure involves balancing you on one arm, like so:

This is when I started to suspect that I should be taking plain old adult CPR, because there's no way I could balance you on one arm like this. You're just too...substantial.

After the class, we went to a baby shower for our new friend Brooke. We ran into our childbirth teacher, Jody, and it was nice to introduce you to each other since the last time Jody saw me, you weren't born yet and I was the size of a tank.

There were lots of kids playing in the yard, so you sat in the grass while a sweet 2 year old sat next to you and you stared at each other. Eventually, she got tired of staring and started to walk off, but she tripped over you and knocked you over and accidentally stepped on your head. You know it's a party when you have a footprint on your forehead.

At the shower, everyone played a game where we tasted different colors of baby food and tried to guess what the flavor was. You sat on my lap and were my partner, and I have no doubt that you enjoyed this game more than anyone else there.

When we left the party, you had winter squash stuck to your eyebrows. Party on.

Lastly, we went to Uncle Nate and Aunt Brynn's for dinner, which was great fun. Uncle Nate made his signature hamburgers that are the size of softballs, and you and Aunt Brynn got to hang out together for a while.

You were a treat from start to finish today.

You made us proud, party girl.

Love,

Mom

...And Boy Are My Arms Tired.

Dear Laney,

Today I held the camera down near my waist while I stood up and told you jokes, like:

This peanut was walking through a neighborhood that was so rough...

How rough was it?

It was so rough, the peanut was a salted.

Let's just say, I killed. You thought I was hysterical, and I have photographic evidence to prove it:

Have a good night and don't forget to tip your server.

Love,

Mom

Easter Sneak Peek

Dear Laney,

Yesterday, we went out in the yard and took some photos to send out for Easter. This isn't the best one, but I thought we should give everyone a taste of what's to come when they check their mailboxes next week. Building anticipation is the key to a good marketing strategy.

Love,

Mom

The Worst Face In The World

Dear Laney,

98% of the time, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. The other 2% of the time, you are making this face:

This face could mean one or all of the following:

You're tired.

You're hungry.

You're grumpy.

You're tired.

I won't let you chew on something expensive/breakable/potentially hazardous.

Your plastic keys can't actually be used to start the car.

You're tired.

You've crawled backwards as far as you can, and have come up against the dishwasher or dining room chair.

Dad sneezed.

You didn't want bananas in your sweet potatoes.

You're tired.

You can't reach the thing you MOST want to put in your mouth in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

Your sippy cup has become a burden.

You're bored.

And tired.

Love,

Mom

The Apple That Wouldn't Die

Dear Laney,

It was so nice out today that we decided to stop at Frenchtown Pond on the way home from running errands. We drove through McDonald's and got an iced tea for me and a bag of apple slices for you. I can tell you that whatever those apples cost, it was the best money I've spent in a long time.

I handed you one slice and you entertained yourself for half an hour. That's right - a full thirty minutes. Which in Laney time is like a year and a half.

The apple held on 'til the very end, when you dropped it in a pile of leaves, smashed it in the dirt a little, then tried to lick it clean.

That's when your mean mean mommy finally took it away.

Love,

Mom

James Brown School of Crawling

Dear Laney,

While we might question your technique, we can't question your enthusiasm.

Love,

Mom

Wild Kingdom

Dear Laney,

Your new favorite thing to do is sit by the back door and stare at Gus while he stands on the other side of the door, staring back. You both spend a lot of time wishing you could get together and drool on something. Yesterday, he tried to lick you, and you grabbed his lip and held on until I pried your fingers off. It's probably a good thing we got Gus at a chihuahua rescue, and he thinks you're bigger than he is.

Anyway, you like to keep track of what the dogs are doing at all times - you're like Dian Fossey and the mountain gorillas.

Precious.

Love,

Mom

I Love LA(-ney)

Dear Laney,

It has been suggested by one of your pushier grandparents that I need to quit working and get back to blogging. I don't want to name names, but he lives in Georgia and deals in antiques.

So...much has happened since my last post.

I spent a weekend of my life in Los Angeles, producing a music video with these yahoos:

While I was gone, your dad did a great job of keeping you all by himself. In fact, he was almost too good. There's this great episode of "The Andy Griffith Show" where Aunt Bee goes out of town and Andy and Opie are left home alone. When she gets back, she sees that they kept the house clean and got along fine without her, so she starts crying because she thinks they don't need her. Andy makes Opie go in the kitchen and make a huge mess so Bee will think she's needed. I'm not quit as sensitive as Aunt Bee, but it wouldn't have hurt your dad to be a little messier.

Apparently while I was gone, everyone your dad is related to called to check on him - we had 15 new calls on our phone when I got back. It's nice to know everyone cares so much about you. Your dad says you guys did all sorts of fun things this weekend - for example, you got to sit in the Baby Jogger and watch him chop firewood. He says you got a kick out of it, but I would have to see it to believe it.

It was nice to go back to work on Monday with my favorite co-worker:

Yesterday, we went into town to get the new tire put on the car. While you were sitting in your stroller at the Subaru place, you reached down and yanked off both of your socks and stuffed them in your mouth. THAT'S definitely something new you picked up while I was gone. I hope it wasn't something you saw your dad do.

Love,

Mom

Waiting For My Meeting To Start

Love,

Mom

P.S. I talked to your dad this morning. He says you slept great, but that when you came downstairs this morning, you were looking around for me. I'm coming home soon - I promise!!!

Can You IMAGINE?

Dear Laney,

Every once in a while, (usually for about 10 minutes around 6pm) I find that being a mother to a six month old is completely overwhelming.

The other day, you and I were playing around with the photo settings on my webcam, and created this image. As soon as I saw it, it gave me heart palpitations. Next time I think you're more than I can handle, I'm going to think about this photo and how easy I have it (comparatively).

Love,

Mom

P.S. This was the same day we decided to try on some of your barrettes:

You don't seem to like the overall effect. Maybe you agree with your grandmother Peg Peg who's always telling me that I need to keep proportion in mind when it comes to your hair accessories (which is her nice way of saying when I put small bows in your hair, it makes your head look big). She's always pushing for a BIG BOW.

Or maybe you just don't like that I took the pink one.