Dear Laney,
According to your dad, while the two of you were playing outside yesterday, you slipped off your tricycle into a mud puddle.
When I was very little and would fall off of things / walk into things / bang my head on something, I remember my father would slap the offending object and say, "Bad stool!" or "Bad table!" Did it make me feel better to see an inanimate object get a spanking? Yes.
Now pardon me while I go beat the heck out of that tricycle.
Love,
Mom
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