Friday, October 12, 2012

Minimum Help Expectancy




Attention, Everyone I'm Related To:

Tomorrow, I'm getting on a plane with my two small children to come see you. You're welcome. As part of our whirlwind tour, we'll be visiting Georgia, then Alabama, then spending a night in Mississippi on our way to Arkansas, leaving a path of fiery destruction in our wake. We're General Sherman in reverse.*

Yesterday, I told Laney that I had packed everything she needed for the trip, but that she could throw a few essentials in the suitcase if she thought I'd missed something. It's an interesting glimpse inside her mind.

Apparently, Laney's been told that the South is not known for their snacks or their reading material.

In the spirit of full disclosure, here are some things you should know about my children:

LANEY is going through... well, I was going to call it a "phase," but I can't remember a time when she wasn't this way: She has to do everything herself. Ev-er-y-thing. She likes to dress herself (see dress/shirt/jogging pants combo in that top picture), and she insists on undressing herself, too. Sometimes, the undressing is hard to watch, because she gets herself so wrapped up in her shirt, she looks like Houdini before they start the escape clock. You will be tempted to reach in and help, but stop yourself, for there will be hell to pay. 

Earlier this week, I watched her spend at least ten minutes wrestling her way out of a pirate T-shirt. I sat next to her while she did it, and when she finally freed herself, I said, "I could show you a way to do that that might be easier... but I guess your way worked, too." "Yeah," she said, with a "duh" tone in her voice and a roll of her eyes, "I'm naked."

Before you help her with anything, I'd advise you to ask, "Would it be okay if I helped?" Usually, she will say "No," but sometimes you'll get lucky and she'll say, "You can help a little." When she says this, she doesn't mean that you can fix the bowl of cereal. She means you can open the refrigerator door 2 millimeters so she can get to the milk herself. She doesn't mean you can take off her shirt, she means you can hold the tip of her sleeve between two of your fingers so she can pull her arm out herself. I have a feeling all this independence is going to pay off one day, so in the meantime I just add 30 minutes to my schedule for every little thing we might want to accomplish. 

HAGEN doesn't sleep more than 2 hours in a row. Enjoy!

Can't wait to see y'all!

Love,
Brooke


* Who doesn't love Civil War humor, am I right?

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